


Home for Christmas

by Redclaire999



Category: NCIS
Genre: Angst and Drama, Canon Related, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Special, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Lots of tropes!, Mental Health Issues, Original Character(s), Sexual Content, Tags May Change, Team as Family, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Tropes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-08
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:28:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 29,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27964562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Redclaire999/pseuds/Redclaire999
Summary: A surprise arrival forces Nick and Ellie into an unexpected arrangement. But it's Christmas so just maybe wishes can come true, with a little help from family and friends.
Relationships: Ellie Bishop/Nick Torres
Comments: 129
Kudos: 125





	1. Baby it's cold outside

**Author's Note:**

  * For [rootsbeforebranches](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rootsbeforebranches/gifts).



> It's December, I love Christmas...that's all I'm saying!!  
> Thanks to @rootsbeforebranches, I decided to go with what makes me happy, as you suggested!!

‘Aw come on Nick, it’s a lovely day, well _evening_ now I suppose. It’s like crispy and chilly but cosy and glowy. I love autumn, it’s my absolute favourite time of the year’ she gushed burrowing further into her oversized scarf so that only her nose and eyes were visible, her matching woolly hat already pulled low.

‘Bishop, we’re in a muddy, cold, overgrown graveyard and it’s getting dark. We’re not far enough past Halloween for me to be here! And, if you have to pick a season, I'm just saying summer is the only way to go! Hot sunny days and warm balmy nights…’

‘Yeah, says the guy with the cinnamon spice mochaccino skin tone to the vanilla milkshake girl who burns raspberry pink after like _five_ minutes without SPF a million!’

‘That’s a lot of food on your mind, Bishop, you hungry again?’

‘Yeah, starving and this weather makes me want to snuggle up with something warm and sweet…to _drink_ Torres! Jeez!’

‘ _What!_ I didn’t say a word, _that_ popped out of _your_ brain!’ he bantered back but seeing her cheeks redden beyond the rosiness from the cold he had to tease her some more. ‘So, you think I’m warm and sweet, huh?’ he nudged her with his elbow, a smug grin on his face for catching her out.

‘Torres, can we get back to the job’ she scolded him, but he could see she was flustered, ‘I really need to get home at a decent time tonight’

‘What a hot date?’ he asked, not really wanting one particular answer.

‘No, idiot, I have to pack, I’m heading to Oklahoma on Saturday for Thanksgiving, remember? A whole week at home but I’ve still so much to do. I’m usually _way_ more organised! I need to finish my Christmas shopping, wrap my gifts to bring home but these late hours on this case…’ she grumbled irritably.

‘Christmas shopping? Isn’t it a bit early for that?’

‘Yes, I know you’re a ‘Last minute dot com’ kind of guy’ she replied witheringly at his historically blasé attitude to Christmas preparations, ‘ _but_ with getting time off at Thanksgiving this year I don’t expect to be off for Christmas too. McGee will want that holiday off and he has kids so that’s only fair. So, I need to have everything bought, wrapped and packed with limited time and a 3D version of suitcase Tetris to figure out, you know?’

‘Ok ok, I'll get you home as soon as we talk to this Minister or Vicar guy and I'll even get you one of those gingerbread choco-latte thingies you like on the way back to the office’.

She beamed at him and even though he was freezing her smile melted his heart, again.

St. Matthew’s church was traditional with a stout white clapperboard steeple, old-fashioned and small like most colonial-era chapels. The walled grounds were leaf-strewn and shadowed with colossal, gnarled oaks and chestnuts now shedding the last of their russet and yellowed leaves in the blustery breeze, an oasis of calm in the midst of the city. They interviewed the Reverend Sam Wilkins, who turned out to be a cheerful, middle-aged lady, Sam short for Samantha surprisingly, who like all the others on their list hadn’t seen missing Marine Sergeant Daryl Cobbs on her homeless food-runs. She elaborated that they had only a very small congregation and Cobbs would have stood out if her he’d ever attended their services.

They were at the dead end, again.

With Sam dashing off on another pastoral errand they were left alone again in the old cemetery and although his partner had claimed she was in a rush she pottered about reading some of the more legible, less ivy-covered headstones in the fading light.

‘Nick, look at this!’

‘What?’ he asked suspiciously, expecting a prank of some kind. She knew he hated anything to do with _Los Muertos_.

‘It’s me!’ she pointed at a weather-work granite headstone her face alight with curiosity and excitement.

‘What? Ooh yeah, not spooky weird _at all_!’ he exclaimed in horror as he read the gothic-styled inscription carved into the old gravemarker.

 _‘‘Eleanor Bishop, beloved wife of Nathaniel. Resting now with our daughters Alice and Cora, born and died together 9 th September 1809. Our love began in an instant, grew over time and will last for eternity. Wait for me’. _Wow, that’s so-,’ she faltered, a hitch to her voice that drew his attention away from the eerie slab. Glancing over at her he noticed a sparkling gleam in her eyes.

‘Are you _crying_?’ he probed carefully.

‘No’, she sniffed, ‘of course not! Something in my eye’ she snuffled again, wiping her cheek with the back of her hand.

‘Really?’ he replied sceptically, ‘let me see’ he offered, stepping nearer, hands ready to tilt her head back and have a closer look.

‘No, it’s ok, gone now’

‘Mmhm’ he nodded sagely, ‘come on, let’s get you warmed up’ he offered to lift her morbid mood. Walking out the rusted, iron gates they pulled them closed with a squealing protest. A feral screech and a dark flash of movement had him reaching for his sidearm in panic.

‘Relax Nick it’s just a cat, you big scaredy-cat’ she laughed, her eyes following the slinky shadow of the black feline to where it was prowling around a dumpster. ‘Shush, can you hear that?’

‘Bishop?’ he called after her as she tiptoed towards the animal, puss-pussing and crooning soft words to put it at ease.

‘Maybe she’s hurt? She’s looking for something…’ she called back over her shoulder as he snorted in impatience, his breath steaming in the frigid air.

‘Bishop come on, it probably has rabies or fleas or maybe it’s just hungry’. He didn’t want to say he was spooked to bejesus by black cats generally, more so outside a graveyard after nightfall.

‘Oh my god! _Nick!_ ’ she squealed breathlessly disappearing behind the metal wheelie bin.

‘What, kittens?’

‘Nick, _Jesus Christ_!’

She _never_ swore, something was seriously wrong.

He sprinted the few meters and rounded the dumpster to find Ellie on her knees stripping off her clothes, fumbling one-handedly, a bundle just visible in the crook of her other arm.

‘Nick help me! Undo my buttons, quick!’ she ordered him urgently.

‘Ellie what the fu-,’

‘It’s a _baby_ Nick, a newborn! Quick I need to get him against my skin, he’s freezing!’

Looking down he just caught a glimpse of an infant’s face, a dark crop of hair and its tiny body wrapped in a blood-smeared towel. Nick’s fingers shook as he hastily undid the dainty buttons of Bishop’s blouse, her sweater already pulled up in readiness. As soon as he released the last one she clutched the baby to her chest and pulled her clothes back around to swaddle the whimpering bundle.

‘Can you slip your hand underneath and unclip my bra at the front so I can warm him up some more?’

‘I, um…’ he swallowed, his hands frozen, motionless, as his brain attempted to compute what she wanted him to do. Of all the situations he had imagined unhooking Ellie Bishop’s bra, this was not on his Bingo card!! Even in the chilly air, he felt a flush rising up his neck and flooding his face.

‘What, you’ve never seen a bra and breasts before?’ she rolled her eyes scathingly at his awkward embarrassment.

‘Not _yours_!’ he blurted rolling his shaking fingers into nervous fists.

‘Get over it Nick! Are you going to do it or do I have to juggle an infant and do it myself?’ she snapped levelling him with a flat look.

Nodding he accepted her challenge, slipping his hand inside her blouse. He hissed a quick apology as he felt her flinch at his icy touch but he continued at her urging, running his fingertips upwards along the soft skin of her abdomen until he encountered the clasp of her lacy bra and unhooked it with, thankfully, an apparent skill level that disguised his trepidation. He whipped his fingers away from her once the task was done, trying his best not to make the situation any weirder than it already was.

‘Nick, shine your phone light down and check his colour, he’s probably hypothermic’ she fretted huddling herself closer to him, offering him a full view. He gulped down his other thoughts and did as she asked, paying all his attention to the child rather than anything else that might be…visible.

‘Um, he’s pink, lips are dark pink? I can see his pulse at the side of his neck, it’s fast, that’s good right?’

‘I don’t know! All I do know is I have to keep him warm, skin to skin is best and we should probably call 911. Nick, he’s like just born, some of the cord is still attached. The mom could be nearby’ she speculated with a swift glance around the deserted lot.

‘Ok I'll call paramedics and search around’ he pulled off his jacket and draped it over her front.

A quick look around revealed nothing other than another blood-smeared towel. ‘The mom’s not here, B. How’s the kid?’

‘Looking for a meal I’m not equipped to provide’ she winced as the infant tried to latch on.

‘Ambulance should be here in the next five, is there anything I can do to help?’

‘Maybe evidence bag the towel he was wrapped in with the other one you found, might help us track down his family?’ Her attention switched back to the bundle against her chest as the little guy started all-out crying.

_Healthy pair of lungs anyways!_

‘Oh poor baby, you hungry? Just a little few minutes now and I'll get you something ok? Shhhhh’ she crooned in a ‘mamma’ voice as she gently bounced the buddle beneath the layers in a soothing rhythm.

Minutes later the paramedic sirens blasted down the side street. Sitting in the back of the bus Ellie unwrapped the little guy, flagrantly careless of exposing herself to the crew, and watched intently as they did a preliminary assessment. That done and an initial all-clear verdict given they returned the infant to her, placing him back on her chest, natural body heat being more effective and reassuring for neonates according to the EMT. Buckled up she said a terse goodbye knowing he would have to stay and secure the scene until the team and probably Metro PD arrived.

As they pulled away Nick called in the incident to Gibbs and after Jimmy and the others got there, he waited impatiently to hand the incident over to Metro PD. That done he rushed back to their car parked up the street and made a beeline for the hospital Ellie and the baby had been taken to.

_She’d need a lift home anyway, right?_

He found her in the paediatric section of the ER, hovering over the infant now on a special cot being heated by overhead warmers. He was wearing a onesie that was too big for him and had a few tubes and wires attached to him

‘B, is he ok?’

‘Hey Nick, he’s ok, a little chilled but better now and they had to give him some IV glucose. He’s small, six-pound two but full-term or thereabouts. Oh my god, if I hadn’t followed that cat!’ she whispered in a freaked voice, huffing out a shaky breath that lifted the untidy wisps of hair around her face. ‘Any sign of the mother?’

‘No nothing. Our team is taking the lead on the investigation for now, but Metro will probably take over, it’s not a military case. You want to go home; I can drop you?’

‘Um, no I’m good, I think I’ll stay here with the little guy for another while until he’s stable and settled’. She had that stubborn tilt to her jaw that he knew no amount of coaxing or cajoling would change her mind. Better just to go with it!

‘Shall I get you something to eat then? Coffee, a sandwich?’

‘Thanks, yeah that would be perfect’

He picked up a turkey club and a couple of chocolate bars to keep her going and though he sat there for a while, there appeared to be no rush on her part to leave.

‘Nick, why don’t you go home, I’m going to hang out here until the first batch of bloods come back, I asked for a sample to send over to Kasie, in case the family DNA is in our system, though that’s probably a longshot, and they need to know if the mom was on drugs, he might get withdrawals’ she winced compassionately knowing as they both did that would bring the little guy a world of pain.

‘I’m sure the nurses and doctors will look after him B’

‘Yeah of course, but he’s on his own. No kiddie should be alone on his first day. And I’ve got time to spare’ she shrugged with a smile.

‘Then I’ll stay too, at least till the blood results are back’

They left the hospital just after midnight, the baby was clear of narcotics and infections mercifully. Ellie had volunteered to bottle-feed the kid as the nurses were swamped with urgent trauma care patients from some RTA on the Interstate.

‘The neonatal nurse thought he might be mixed race, or maybe Latino? What do you think?’ she asked quietly on the drive home.

‘Does it matter?’

‘No of course not, I was just wondering, it might help us find his mom...or dad?’

‘Neither wanted him B, clearly!’ he answered a little harshly drawing a raised eyebrow from his well-raised by a perfect loving family partner. ‘He was left naked and alone behind an alley dumpster, in November. I think that’s all we need to know’ he finished brusquely.

‘Nick, his mom might be a kid herself, scared or abused or hurt. We don’t know, we can’t judge’

‘You're a better person than me B. That kid was let down, abandoned, on day one by those who should have loved him the most. That’s something he’ll carry with him for the rest of his life’ he replied sadly, shaking his head at the fickleness of some ‘parents’. She gazed at him with that penetrating assessing look she saved up for special occasions, like when she wanted more information but didn’t want to actually ask. He clamped his mouth shut and concentrated on the road ahead not saying another word until he bid her goodnight as he pulled up beside her truck outside her building.

‘See you tomorrow, well in a few hours now! Do you want to carpool again?’ he asked a little too brightly, pushing away his own jaded feelings of childhood abandonment.

‘Um no thanks, I’ve got a few things to do, some last-minute running around after work so I’ll need my car. See you at the office’. He waited till she was safely inside her apartment block before he pulled away, an ingrained habit he couldn’t explain to her without getting balled out.

Maybe he was just a little _overprotective_? Yeah, that was it…


	2. No crib for a bed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Grrr! problems posting photos, only a bit of festive fun,!  
> Yay! I think I figured it out!!  
> 

[ ](https://imgur.com/7P0j4a1)

As he lay in bed he flicked through the photos on his phone again. Ellie holding the baby at the hospital, feeding him, rocking him to sleep and one of the three of them he snapped as a selfie. He probably shouldn’t have taken them, data protection on an open case or whatever but he thought the kid should have something to show for his first day other than being labelled an ‘abandoned dumpster baby’.

Poor kid, life was hard enough without being dealt a shitty hand on your first day on the job!

He should have something to tell him that he was looked after, that he was cuddled and shown kindness, and there was no better person in the world than Ellie to do just that.

He tossed and turned, not really sleeping at all and hauled himself into work yawning so hard he almost cracked his jaw. Bishop seemed to be just as exhausted going by her pale face, her yawns synchronised with his own. Their day got significantly better than even a regular Friday though as Gibbs announced that as it was almost Thanksgiving week, the Cobbs cold case had dead-ended again and the baby now being a Metro PD investigation, they should all take any time off owed to them before the holiday. Bishop was gone before he’d even packed up his bag.

Lounging on his sofa the next afternoon he video-called her but the glaring lights, pastel décor and noises in the background told him she wasn’t at home.

‘Hey! So what time’s your flight home tonight? Do you need a lift to the airport?’

‘Oh, um I’ve been rescheduled to Wednesday evening, mix up with the airline, overbooking or something’ she stammered out all flustered, guilt written on her face. She really was a terrible liar.

‘Your neck is sweaty’ he pointed out calmly.

‘Is not!’ she snapped back indignantly whilst furtively wiping it with her shoulder.

‘Why did you change your flight?’ he asked, already knowing the answer but wanting her to actually confirm his suspicion.

‘It’s just a couple of days, to erm, finish stuff up here’ she answered evasively.

‘ _Ellie_ ’ he cautioned her, drawing out her name by adding several more ‘l’s.

‘Ok I wanted to help find Matthew’s mom, ok!’ she admitted, tutting in exasperation.

‘ _Matthew_?’

‘He needed a name and we found him at St. Matthew’s church…I think it’s a good name’

‘It’s a great name B. Have you been at the hospital since you left work yesterday?’

‘Um…’ she puffed out her cheeks, squinting one eye, again with the evasion.

_Well, that answered that!_

‘How’s he doing?’ he asked mildly, trying another tack seeing her discomfort at being grilled.

‘He’s good, taking his formula well and I gave him his first bath today!’

Red flags were waving wildly at her enthusiasm. He knew she was getting attached to the kid, and ok he was _very_ cute, but she’d have to step back when either the family showed up or the system stepped in.

‘Are you staying there for another while?’

‘Probably’ she conceded guiltily. 

‘Then I’ll bring you some Chinese food.’

‘Nick you don’t have to-,’

‘I like sharing the combo meal we usually order, it’s too much food for one’ he shrugged noncommittally not elaborating that it was the company rather than the cuisine he liked sharing.

He arrived at the nursery to find Bishop in an armchair with Matthew swaddled in her arms. Admittedly the staff did look busy and the other babies seemed to have doting mom’s and dad’s fussing over them, balloons and teddies decorating every bassinette. He’d only pulled up a chair beside her when a stout, stern woman appeared, file under her arm, screaming officialdom and a superiority complex.

‘Agent Bishop I believe? And you are?’ she demanded with a glare, rankling him right off the bat.

‘You first’. His less than polite response provoked an immediate puffing up of her already ample chest.

‘I’m Cordelia Green, Social Worker and Case Manager with Child Protection Services. I’m here to take…’ she looked at the file ‘Matthew? I’m taking him into residential care’

‘Why?’ he barked abruptly, channelling his inner Gibbs.

‘Well, he’s medically fit for discharge so the State will care for him until foster placement or a court interim care order is in place’ she explained indifferently. He felt a sharp kick right on the ball of his ankle and got an eyeballing scowl from Ellie.

‘Apologies for my partner Agent Torres’s blunt manner Ms Green, he’s known for his overprotective instincts, when it comes to children’ her voice dripped sweetness and just a little tongue-in-cheek teasing. ‘You said residential care? Like an orphanage?’

‘We don’t use that term Agent Bishop but yes, a care facility as we’ve no foster carers available this side of the holiday’ she explained a little more cordially.

‘I’m a registered and approved foster carer, I’m available’ Bishop declared calmly as Nick’s head whiplashed back in surprise.

‘Agent Bishop, have you ever fostered before?’

‘No ma’am, but I’ve completed all mandatory training, passed all vetting and home inspections, I’m approved for emergency placements and I can email you my certification immediately. I’m already aware of his history and cognisant of his care needs’. She presented her case succinctly, leaving little room to argue.

Ms Green sucked at her teeth and then nodded her decision made, ‘Ok, subject to verification, I will release Matthew _temporarily_ to your care. There will be a lot of departmental follow-up Agent Bishop. We hope to do a public appeal for the mother and that always brings out the oddballs and bleeding hearts looking to adopt. You’ll have to attend all healthcare appointments and mandated court dates and be available for supervised visits with the family should they be found’

Ellie agreed to all of it and signed off on the paperwork barely reading through it. The social worker was scarcely out the door when he quizzed her.

‘A foster carer?’ he couldn’t keep the stunned tone from his voice, not sure if he was more puzzled or hurt that she hadn’t told him.

‘Yeah, I um…well, after Cody last year and then Phineas I thought about how often kids are left in our care at NCIS and I felt it’d be beneficial to be a registered foster carer’ she explained simply though her nervous swallow said there was more to it than that.

‘Oh my god, Nick, I’ve just realised!’ she blurted slapping her free hand down on his thigh for emphasis, ‘I have nothing for him at home, like _nothing_! What if she says no and wants to take him to a care home!’ she hissed anxiously her arm tightening slightly on the bundled-up baby.

‘Leave it to me, you just sort out what needs doing here’ Her mouth opened to grill him over the particulars but he cut her off, silencing her with a head jerk towards the returning CPS worker ‘Trust me’ he muttered as he slipped out to the corridor and started making calls.

An hour later and McGee pulled up outside the hospital with a trunk-full of baby stuff kept in storage since the twins were babies.

‘Ok, I’ve got a car-seat, a Moses basket, and a whole bag of blankets, bedding and clothes for newborn to three months. Delilah sorted them so I’m sure it’s everything you guys will need. There’s also a changing mat, a pack of Pampers, wipes and scented disposal bags, you're going to need those!’ he theatrically gagged a little and chuckled at Nick’s horrified face. ‘The nurses should be able to give you enough pre-packed formula for tonight, Delilah breastfed the twins so I can’t help with that’

‘ _Whoa_! One tiny kid needs all this stuff?’ his eyebrows raised in disbelief at the volume of ‘absolute necessities’.

‘Oh, my sweet summer child!’ Tim shook his head sympathetically.

‘Ok I have no idea what that means but I’m guessing it’s not good’

‘Look I think it’s amazing what Ellie is doing but it’s _a lot_ for her to take on by herself. Infants are hard work. She’ll need help, _real_ consistent support’ McGee pushed none too subtly in his responsible voice, giving him a pointed appraising look.

‘I can do that’ he bristled, slightly miffed that Tim might be implying he wasn’t up to the job or something.

McGee nodded, mm-humming a little sceptically. ‘When you guys need help just call, ok?’ There it was again, the tiniest suggestion that he and Bishop wouldn’t be able to cope.

Well, now he was just going to have to prove him wrong!

_Challenge accepted!_

He quickly swapped the stuff over to his own car and brought the car-seat carrier and a padded outdoor suit back up to the ward.

‘Ok we’re all set, I think we’ve everything we’ll need for tonight anyways’ he assured her.

‘ _We_?’

‘Thought I could help out a bit, if you want? I mean it’s up to you, of course…’ he retreated rapidly; he hadn’t really considered that she might turn him down.

‘Thanks Nick, that would be really great’ she breathed in relief, ‘I’m a little apprehensive if I’m honest…he’s so small! What if I don’t know what to do or something happens? Maybe there’s a book I should-,’

‘You’ll be fine’ he interrupted her escalating fret-fest, ‘consider me an extra pair of hands just until you get him settled in’.

He noted the new, perfectly-fitting soft grey onesie the little fella was wearing as she unwrapped him from his plush cream blanket to zip him into his borrowed snowsuit.

She had the decency to blush as she pulled on a new matching hat embroidered with _‘Matthew’._

‘What? There’s a kiosk downstairs in the lobby that personalises things’ she retorted defensively to his silent smirk, ‘Matthew should have nice things too, he’s special and precious, just like every other baby here’

‘I agree’ he nodded sincerely, thinking Ellie was the sweetest person he’d ever met and that this kid would break his partner’s heart.

Nick couldn’t help but feel, well, _weird_ on the drive home to Ellie’s place. She sat in the back cooing to the baby and it all felt bizarrely like a premonition or reverse déjà vu of coming home from the hospital with his own child someday. The fact it was _Ellie_ in the car in the ‘mom’ role was… _unnerving_ , because it felt, _right_. If she was having similar thoughts she hid it well but then her attention was squarely fixated on Matthew.

It took a while to decide where to put stuff, her apartment wasn’t really set up for the sudden arrival of a new baby. Ellie walked around with the baby in the arms pointing to things she needed moving or adjusted to make space for the bassinette, a couple of bookshelves cleared off for neatly folded clothes, bedding and nappies. A shelf in the fridge was scrubbed cleaned for bottled formula and Ellie kept adding to the list of things she needed to buy the next day.

Organising finally done and the little guy asleep with a full tummy, they chowed down on the reheated Chinese food and Nick broached the subject that she hadn’t even tipped on yet.

‘Bishop, what are you going to do about work? Most people have like nine months to plan childcare. You need to call Gibbs’

‘I have a plan, I’m off all this week-,’

‘To go home to Oklahoma’ he pointed out, glancing over at the half-zipped up suitcase and pile of wrapped gifts she hadn’t been able to squeeze in yet.

‘Well, _that’s_ not happening now but it does give me a week to sort things out. NCIS employees can use the in-house creche plus there’s a government payment to foster carers to cover costs’

Maybe she had given it all more thought than he gave her credit for. But then Bishop’s brain famously multitasked on a whole other level to standard humans!

‘So, you're going to call Gibbs and then your family’ he prompted and saw her face squinch in a reluctant grimace. ‘Well, you _could_ hold off for now, the mother might turn up at any minute and then he’ll be given back to her, I guess. It’s only a temporary placement’.

She nodded mutely.

Yeah, she was going to get her heart broken and there was nothing he could do about it.

He looked at his watch and saw it was just after 10 pm.

‘I should probably go-, unless you need me to stay?’

‘No, of course, head home, I’m sure I’ll manage, you’ve done so much already. You probably have _other_ things to be doing on a Saturday night’ she nudged him playfully.

 _Why did she always think I’m out carousing every weekend?_ His life was actually boringly mundane, he hadn’t dated at all since Elena…

‘Nope, no plans. I’m happy to crash on the couch, do a night feed? We could head out to the baby store in the morning, pick up the stuff on your list. You’ll need help with that and you know I can bring the muscle’ he teased, flexing his biceps until she rolled her eyes.

‘I would feel better with someone else here until I get the hang of things’ she considered ‘but only if you're sure?’

‘I wouldn’t have offered if I wasn’t’.

He’d never stayed over in her apartment, well apart from that one time after Reeves when he fell asleep still sitting up blind drunk. He didn’t remember much of that, only the awkward embarrassment of trying to excuse himself the next morning. That was a while ago now and their friendship, the _thing_ between them, had moved on, to _where_ he had no idea! It was always one step forward two steps back. It confused, vexed and exasperated him in equal measures and left him feeling lacking, incomplete somehow.

He knew two things now though; one, he liked spending time with her and two, she needed him, just a little. Ellie Bishop was more than capable of doing anything her mind leaned to, he knew that, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t offer to help.

They were _friends_ after all.

The weekend flew in, a conveyor belt of feeds, nappy changes, snoozes, crying and cuddles. They’d managed the store, Ellie had bought a stroller that the car-seat clipped into and a couple of other necessities. If he _had_ bought the little dude a ridiculously cute, green knitted octopus hat, the tentacles just the right size for his tiny fists to grab onto rather than Ellie's hair and maybe a stuffed dolphin… _and_ a Miami Dolphins baby-gro well, it only happened because she left him alone for five minutes and he couldn’t help himself. Apparently, he had _zero_ self-control.

They were still laughing about it as they grabbed lunch and soon had to navigate the minefield of passers-by oohing and ahhing at the baby, congratulating them as new parents, saying he looked _just_ like them…

_Wow, not weird or awkward at all!_

Ellie seemed to take it in her stride, politely thanking them but she didn’t exactly make eye contact with him all the same!

They fell into a new routine, _Matthew’s_ routine but a routine all the same. Ellie turned out to be a night owl, years of late-night reading and studying apparently prepared her for after midnight feeds while he was an early riser, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed ready for dawn gym sessions and sunrise runs so he took over everything after 4am. They both got enough sleep to make the days enjoyable rather than endurable.

He went home to shower and change daily; there was a line differentiating guest and resident and for him _that_ was definitely crossing it somehow.

Her call to Gibbs on Monday went surprisingly well, ‘do what you gotta do, Bishop’ seemed to be the gnarly guy’s attitude. He’d accommodate her as best he could, but the job was demanding, they all knew that.

With no word from the cops or social workers by Tuesday evening, Ellie couldn’t delay anymore and had to call her parents to tell them she wasn’t coming home for Thanksgiving. He offered to go for a walk so she could talk privately with them, but she was happy for him to stay, more so as he was cooking her favourite chilli in the kitchen. He wasn’t eavesdropping but he couldn’t help overhearing the Zoom conversation.

‘Hi mom! Where’s dad?’

‘Oh, he’s just over at the Belton place helping move some cattle. What’s up, you have that face on you like you're going to hit me something’

‘Erm…’

Nick looked over and saw her tilt the laptop screen to show off the baby in her arms and him in the background but he ducked out of view belatedly.

‘ _Eleanor Bishop_! You have some explaining to do young lady!’ her mother exclaimed like she’s just been caught smoking pot!

‘Mom relax! This is Matthew, I’m his emergency foster parent for the next while until they find his family’

‘Find his-Eleanor, that’s a newborn infant, how- why? Where’s his mother?’ she asked horrified.

‘Long story Mom, myself and Nick, you remember my partner Nick?’ he waved from the kitchen but kept his distance so as not to intrude on their conversation, ‘we found him last Thursday just after he was born, behind a dumpster’ he heard the audible hitch in her voice just saying it.

‘Oh that poor child! Is he ok, healthy and all?’ her mother asked in concern.

‘Yeah, he’s doing really well, taking his formula, gaining weight’ she gushed proudly.

‘How are you coping with an infant? You barely even babysat as a teen!’

‘We’re doing ok, I think. Nick’s helping with the night-time feeds…’

‘He _is_ , huh?’ he caught the questioningly suggestive tone in her voice.

‘ _Mom_!!’ she hissed back, ‘it’s nothing like that, ok’. Nick had to bite his tongue to keep the laughter in at hearing Bishop being roasted by her mom, it was literal comedy gold-dust, he’d have tons of teasing banter available to him after this!

‘Honey, you know I have the worst case of grandchild envy, I’ve four grown kids and _only_ three little ones!’

‘Sorry to disappoint you, mom!’ she huffed back gruffly and Nick winced feeling the sting.

‘Now you know I don’t mean it like that, I’m just saying is all! Now unwrap him so I can get a closer look!’

‘Who?’

‘The baby dear, not Nick, unless he wants to’ she muttered deadpan and he was a write-off in the kitchen choking on his mouthful of beer with suppressed mirth. Her mom was _epic_!

‘ _Mom_! He’s in the kitchen, he can probably hear you!’ she tried to whisper but he could still hear her mom scoffing at her daughter’s embarrassed discomfort. ‘Say hi to naughty Granny B, Matthew’ Ellie eventually managed to change the subject.

‘Oh my lord but he’s beautiful!’

‘Yes, he is, and he needs me so…’

‘You won’t be coming home tomorrow?’ Mrs Bishop sighed dolefully.

‘I can’t, he can’t leave the State for now but, _you_ could come visit, work out your grandma cravings by spending some time with him so that Nick could maybe sleep in his own bed rather than on my sofa?’ Ellie suggested optimistically. He swallowed down his disappointment; of course, it made sense she’d prefer her capable mother rather than his bumbling baby care skills.

Her mom cleared her throat, lowering her tone. ‘You know I’d love to honey’, Nick immediately relaxed, ‘but the farm is just so busy right now and I’m on the town festive lights committee this year… I think you and Nick are doing great by the looks of things anyways.’

‘Mom, please? I could really do with the help’ she wheedled some more, bringing the baby closer to the screen as leverage. ‘Look at him mom, isn’t he _perfect_?’

‘Yeah, you make a perfect pair’ she muttered cryptically. ‘Thing about babies, well, they either make you or break you! You two will figure that out. Now I’ll talk to you when everyone’s here for dinner on Thursday, you can show off Matthew to the whole family. Bye honey, Bye Nick!’ she shouted a little louder.

‘Bye Mrs Bishop’ he waved again with his wooden spoon from the stove.

‘It’s Barbara, Nick, just Barbara to family!’

He was stumped in gob-smacked speechlessness until noticing Ellie was having an all-out cringy moment.

‘Nick I’m _so_ sorry about my mom, I don’t know what gets into her sometimes! And what’s with the farm being busy BS, it’s the quietest time of the year for god’s sake!’

‘You really wanted her to come, huh?’

‘Well, it’s not fair on you, _I_ signed up to care for Matthew. You’ve been amazing but it’s not fair to rely on you, you have a life!’

‘Ellie, I’m happy to do it, and I have like _no_ plans because I expected to be _working_ not taking time in lieu, so you caught me on a good week’ he shrugged nonchalantly feeling anything but inside.

‘Well, if you're sure, I don’t want to impose’ she replied hesitantly.

‘It’s cool B, now, you ready for dinner or do you need to settle the boy?’

Thanksgiving morning Cordelia Green called, Matthew was due an appointment at the hospital with a paediatrician and CPS would be taking photos of him before hosting another televised news appeal for the mother. Ellie spent an age picking out the right outfit for him and he could see her building anxiety as they drove back to the hospital as she worried at the skin around her fingernails, picking ceaselessly and glanced back to the car-seat every couple of minutes.

‘Do you think if she shows up they just give him back to her? Or is there like an assessment period or something?’

‘I don’t know B, maybe you should ask Cordelia?’

She hummed back her agreement, still miles away, but he knew a little of what she felt. They were both getting used to having the little guy around. It would be hard to hand him over to anyone let alone someone who’d abandoned him as they had.

They were left in a small curtained-off cubical after CPS took the kid’s mugshots, a term that had Ellie chuckling, but the social worker not so much. They watched on the room TV as news reporters fired questions at the ever-stoic Cordelia regarding Matthew and the circumstances of his discovery, each vulture hungry for more salacious headlines to print. Ellie was still shaking her head in disgust over an hour later as the rerun of the story broadcast just as the doctor came in to do his developmental checks. He ordered a weight check to be completed by the student nurse standing there observing and marking stuff on a chart. A clerk called them both over to the desk to complete Matthew’s paperwork, more complicated as he was a State foster child. 

A couple of minutes ticked by and Ellie looked back uneasily over her shoulder at the closed curtain of the cubical. Something about her body language, the way she tapped her pen pensively on the clipboard while chewing on her lip had his hackles up. In a burst of movement, Ellie marched across the floor and wrenched back the curtain.

The area was vacant, no nurse, no Matthew.

‘Nick!’ she gasped, ‘he’s _gone_!’


	3. Bells are ringing!

He went with her gut; if she suspected something terrible, he trusted her judgement.

Ellie snatched up Matthew’s blanket from the empty plastic crib and started frantically pulling back the curtains of the other cubicles, hunting for the baby or the nurse that had taken him. He could hear the escalating panic in her voice as she quizzed every staff member and shocked other parents she encountered.

Conversely, he slammed the door on his own riotous internal emotions and became steadily methodical in his fury.

Slamming his fist down on the countertop to get everyone’s attention he flashed his badge and pointed to the nurse in charge.

‘I’m Agent Torres, NCIS. Call security, A baby boy has been taken, I want this place locked down now!’

‘Maybe he’s just in another bay?’ the cadaver-thin, middle-aged nurse suggested cautiously, probably assuming he was overreacting. ‘I’ll check, what’s the baby’s name?’

‘Matthew- um’ he stuttered, taken aback at the seemingly simple question. ‘Look we were right there and a student nurse- young, dark hair, teal scrubs-,’

‘Agent Torres, we don’t have any students today, it’s Thanksgiving, I need the child’s surname-,’ fingers poised over her keyboard.

‘He doesn’t have one!’ he snapped, ‘he’s the CPS kid from the news!’,

‘The dumpster baby?’

‘Do _not_ call him that!’ he snarled back savagely. ‘His _name_ is Matthew, and you're wasting time, call it in _now_ or you’ll be answering to the federal government!’ he growled.

‘Ok’ she nodded shakily, picking up the phone, ‘Security, we have a Code Pink, I repeat Code Pink from the second floor. Child is male, wearing a-?

‘Grey striped onesie and a cream knitted hat, with ‘M’ on the front. Ellie breathlessly called over his shoulder to the nurse, and she repeated the description down the phone. Bishop shook her head tensely, indicating she hadn’t found them. ‘His grey snowsuit’s gone too’.

The nurse continued on her call looking to them for confirmation as she described the woman. Hanging up she cleared her throat and shrilly whistled deafeningly loud.

‘Ok people, we have a Code Pink infant abduction! Silent alarms have been tripped; all doors are locked. Staff, please commence headcount, name tag checks and search protocols’

‘CCTV?’ Nick barked, his body coiled to spring, out of patience with standing there idle.

‘Security Centre, just down the hall, room 267’ the nurse called after them as both he and Ellie sprinted down the corridor, his fingers automatically sending a 911 text to Gibbs on route.

It took them only a couple of minutes to spot the woman on the camera footage, her head down curled over the bundled-up infant in her arms walking swiftly towards a fire door.

‘Where’s that and where does it go?’ he demanded pointing at the screen.

‘East Wing by the elevators. It leads up to patient floors or down to pathology on first’ the older guy answered apprehensively to Nick’s fierce glare.

Nick assessed the wide girth of the security guard’s midsection and made a judgement call, ‘we’ll go up and check each floor, you hit the lower level, nobody leaves, got it?’

‘Wait, what’s that?’ asked Ellie pointing to a flashing alarm flickering on the panel.

‘Level seven, door B…that’s-,’ the guard gasped, wiping his upper lip with his knuckles uneasily, ‘rooftop access’.

_No, no, no, no!_

They were running before the guy finished talking.

The elevators were halted on lockdown, so it was a breathless gallop up flight after flight of stairs, the echo of their rapid footsteps and panting breaths reverberating off the concrete walls of the stairwell. He stopped at the exit door to the roof, a freezing draft whistling in from around the edges where it was still slightly ajar.

‘Ellie?’ he flicked her a look assessing her for emotional strain, her cheeks were flushed from the exertion but her features blank, completely controlled.

‘I’m good, let’s go’ she reported back calmly professional, no mean feat considering what they might encounter on the other side of the metal door. Weapons drawn, they cautiously exited onto the windswept asphalt roof, his eyes falling immediately on the figure standing right at the low ledge with her back to them, her turquoise scrubs rippling in the breeze, the fabric clinging against her legs. He instantly recognised the fluffy pom-pom ears on the knitted hat just peeking above her elbow as belonging to Matthew.

‘Leave me alone!’ she sobbed her body swaying precariously with the breeze

He heard Ellie suck in her breath and stowing her weapon she slowly moved forward with hands held out, it was only then he realised she still held the baby’s blanket.

‘Hi, I’m Ellie. Why don’t you have this, he must be freezing’ she spoke conversationally but he knew by the tense set of her shoulders her nerves were fried.

‘I just wanted to see him’ she whispered guiltily, looking down at the infant in her arms.

‘That’s ok, we can talk inside, it’s warmer there’ Ellie coaxed her softly.

‘I didn’t mean to leave him there, the news report made it sound so nasty. I was going to leave him _in_ the church. I read you can do that without getting into trouble’. She had turned around to face Bishop now and he could see she was young, probably not even twenty. The wild-eyed girl was shivering like crazy, she was also deathly pale, almost ashen.

‘It’s ok, you're not in any trouble but we need to get the baby indoors now’ Ellie reassured her, whilst flicking him a look he read as an order to stay put. ‘What’s your name?’

‘ _Why_ , are you going to arrest me?’ the girl’s head snapped up nervously, taking a step back, a couple of inches closer to the edge. ‘I know you're a cop, I saw you and him’ she turned her pale sweaty face towards him accusingly, ‘asking the priest lady questions’.

‘We’re not cops, were NCIS, investigators for the Navy’. Ellie replied placatingly still holding out the blanket towards the obviously sick woman going by the rapidly expanding rim of sweat soaking her scrub top neckline.

‘His dad was a Marine, and now he’s gone too, KIA’ she sniffed, wiping her brow with the back of her wrist. ‘Everything would be ok if he was here’.

‘I’m sorry’

‘Why? You didn’t know him. We were going to enlist together but I failed the medical, pregnant!’ she laughed bleakly, ‘He went on tour to earn money. And now I’m on my own, I have no one who cares’ she murmured desolately.

‘Please -?’ Ellie tried persuading her again.

‘Christina’ she whispered, wincing in pain.

‘Christina, let’s go inside, you're sick, feverish, there are people here who can help-,’

‘No! I just want...’ she was looking down dreamily at Matthew, but her feet were stomach-churningly too close to danger.

‘Christina, just give me the baby. Please, let me help!’ He could hear the desperation in her voice, the panic setting-in that Christina had something horrible planned.

‘I just want to sleep, for everything to stop hurting’ she sighed defeatedly. ‘Take him’ she offered quietly, and he held his breath as Ellie tiptoed towards the wilting, young woman. Once Matthew was in her arms, he dashed forward to grab the girl but she ran towards the fire-door at the other end of the roof.

‘Let her go Nick!’

Ellie had wrapped the blanket around the baby, his padded snowsuit had mercifully kept him snug, but he couldn’t miss the smears of crimson on his cheek and mitten were his mother had touched him. Ellie was shaking like a leaf, her adrenaline, like his own, bottoming out threatening to floor her. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders curling both her and the baby in against his chest for warmth and support as he shepherded them inside the now crowded stairwell, security and cops everywhere.

‘You did great B, Matthew’s ok’ he praised her, pecking her forehead with a kiss without thinking. He felt her lean into him a little, but all her attention was on Matthew, her fingers delicately probing the sleeping infant for injury or chill.

Hours later they were finally free to leave the hospital. The girl had been identified as Christina Miller from DMV records but now of no fixed address. Kasie had also found the father, getting a familial match with the baby’s DNA to a Marine Private Nathan Garcia, killed near Aleppo back in the spring.

Cordelia confirmed Matthew would be staying in Bishop’s care until the mess could be sorted out.

Ellie was quiet on the drive home, probably processing the fact that it was now up to Christina to decide what happened next. She wasn’t a bad person he had to admit, just overwhelmed with grief and circumstances. But his only concern was his partner and how upset she was.

The phone-call Bishop had been dreading came on Saturday, Cordelia asking if it was convenient to visit to discuss Matthews placement. Ellie must have chewed her every fingernail to the stump before the social worker arrived, sitting with a despondent sigh on the sofa. He sat beside Bishop; she’d asked him to stay, in case Matthew fussed she said, but he thought maybe she didn’t want to hear what was coming alone.

‘Well, there’s no sugar-coating it’ Cordelia huffed, ‘I, unfortunately, have to inform you that Matthew’s mother has sadly passed away’.

‘ _What_? I thought you were coming to say she wanted him back?’

‘She may have made that request had circumstances been different, but she was found RIP this morning in the shelter she was staying at. Medical examiner is giving a provisional diagnosis of post-partum sepsis. An infection from giving birth without medical care’ she explained as both he and Bishop looked at her and each other in stunned confusion.

‘So, if we had of stopped her on the roof…?’

‘Coroner said she had multi-organ failure, it's most likely she was already dying’ she confirmed sadly. ‘So that brings me to my next point. I screwed up.’

‘Huh?’

‘I never should’ve organised the news conference in the hospital when Matthew was there too. It was just _convenient_ ; all the reporters were there already filming Senator Langan dishing Thanksgiving meals but it put the baby at risk. The shelter is just a block from the hospital, that’s how she got there so fast, plus she also did some cleaning shifts there in the summer, so she knew the building layout, where to grab spare scrubs...’

‘What does all this mean?’ Nick broke in bluntly

‘It means Matthew is now officially without parents or family and will be placed on the CPS database as available for adoption. There’s a waiting list of couples desperate for newborns as you can imagine. We must follow the list of pre-approved, ready-to-go applicants but the opinion of the case manager for the individual child takes precedence. And I need this case settled.’

‘Are you saying...?’ Ellie gasped, sitting bolt upright as it sunk in.

‘What I’m suggesting, _hypothetically_ , is that as I’m taking a couple of days annual leave, should a completed adoption application by an already in _loco parentis_ person, for example, a foster carer, be on my desk Wednesday morning, I would be inclined _not_ to add that child’s name to the database, saving myself the headache of starting new proceedings from scratch’.

‘By Wednesday, _hypothetically_?’ Ellie barely had her ass on the sofa with unfettered excitement.

‘Fully notarised, affidavits signed, medical and psychological reports included. You just need a law enforcement official, a medical doctor, a psychologist and another parent of good standing willing to offer a character reference, not essential but it looks good. It would then go before a judge for approval.’

‘The application forms, where-?’

‘Available online but as it happens, I have a copy here. Ellie, you need to think about this seriously, there’s a big difference between temporary fostering and permanent adoption. Look deep, be honest, talk it over with people you trust’. He felt her probing eyes on him. ‘There’s no condemnation or blame in stepping back from this. Either way, I would always ensure Matthew went to a loving home.’

The door barely closed on Cordelia and he knew without turning around that the rustle of paper was Ellie speed-reading through the pages of the application.

‘Guess I don’t have to ask what you're going to do’ he smiled at her now elated face.

A crazy couple of days followed as Ellie collated everything she needed for her lawyer, with Gibbs, Ducky, Sloane and both McGee and Jimmy supporting her application, both in their professional capacity and personal. Her mom didn’t seem surprised with Ellie’s decision at all, though she was upset about Christina, having heard stories of puerperal fever years ago and thinking it was a thing of the past. 

Tuesday night, the envelope with everything needed sealed and ready to be dropped off to CPS at cockcrow, they were lounging on the sofa, her half of the pizza hardly touched.

‘I can hear your brain clinking from here Bishop, spill, what’s on your mind?’

‘I um, I never asked _you_ what you think, about me adopting?’

‘I support you 100%, you know that’ surprised by her question.

‘I know and I appreciate it, and everything you’ve done to help out with Matthew…’

‘What are you really asking B?’

‘I don’t know, I guess I’m just overthinking stuff, ignore me’ she shook her head dismissively.

‘B, I’m here, whatever you need, ok?’ he reassured her with a nudge but knowing there was something else going on.

‘Nick we’re back at work now, Matthew seems ok in the creche…’

‘You want me to go’ he prompted, as his throat constricted.

‘No! I mean, _you_ must want to get back to your own routine, sleep in your own bed…’

‘This sofa is actually very comfortable’ he smirked, tapping his hand on the armrest.

‘It is, huh?’ she smiled back, her eyebrows raised in scepticism.

‘Yeah, but I’ll go home if-,’

‘How about you stay?’ she interrupted nervously, ‘it would help me out during the week, with work and all it could get crazy and then at the weekend I’ll manage fine by myself. If you _want_ to, of course, if it’s not inconvenient at all, to you, I mean’ she babbled, ‘I’m sure you have more exciting things you could be doing than hanging out with a tired, formula-covered, pyjama-clad, co-worker-,’

‘Friend’ he corrected.

‘Huh?’

‘Tired, spit-up covered, Pj wearing _friend_ , who needs some help and support, and I can do that’

‘Ok then.’ she blushed shyly, her face relaxing a little.

‘Ok then. Now, are you going to eat that pizza, or am I?’

‘Touch it and I’ll snap your fingers like crayons, Torres’ she threatened, grabbing his pincer-like hand before he bagged another slice.

‘What, break _these_ massive fingers with your delicate, pixie-sized hands?’ he scoffed as he interlaced their fingers highlighting the size difference.

A look passed between them, that’s all it was, just a look, but he felt something shift and maybe she did too. Their joking banter stalled but their hands stayed entwined together. Her eyes locked on his then dipped lower to his mouth as she caught her own lip with her teeth. His lungs burned from inactivity, and he moved infinitesimally closer to her, but it was enough to spook her and she shook herself, casually removing her hand and using it to comb her hair behind her ear. They both looked away in confusion

‘I should probably check on Mathew, he’ll be due a feed soon’ she murmured turning her face towards the bassinette in her bedroom. He could plainly see the blotchy flush on the side of her neck, but he was sure his own face was flaming too.

‘Yeah sure, I’ll um, make up a couple of bottles for tonight’ he offered standing up with a theatrical stretching yawn and headed out to the cooler kitchen to try to control his fluttering heartbeat.

The awkwardness lingered. Ellie showered while he fed the baby and when she emerged rosy-cheeked and her hair damp he picked up on her tetchiness. She was maybe even a little relieved when he said he was popping home for a couple of hours.

When he got back Ellie was sleeping, Matthew too, so he made up the couch with the neatly folded bedding and lay down knowing tonight would be another restless night thinking about stuff…mostly _Ellie_ stuff. He curled his hand into a fist trying really hard not to replay the sensation of their hands interlocked together, he had already had his guilty pleasure with _those_ thoughts in his shower earlier.

The application was submitted on time. Cordelia sent a message saying she would book a court date for the formalities and Ellie was on cloud nine. The mood between them shifted over the next week, the weekend passed, and he still hadn’t really gone home, and she didn’t suggest it again. Instead, they bought a Christmas tree and decorated the apartment. Just as they were all set to do the big switch-on of fairy lights for Matthew, her phone pinged,

‘Cordelia, coming over for a visit, probably about the court date’ she shrugged. ‘And three, two, one… oh pretty! But we need more lights, Nick, you picked a _very_ big tree for a small apartment’ she repeated her earlier claim.

‘The tree is _perfect_ B’ he dismissed her point airily, still sticking to his guns that the kid needed the _wow_ -factor for his first Christmas. ‘I’ll go the store and get more lights, twenty minutes tops’ he grinned triumphantly as she rolled her eyes laughing at his exuberance.

Who knew that leaving it until the 9th December to buy lights was like an impossible task? Three shops and almost an hour later his phone lit up with Ellie's face.

‘I know, I know I’m on my way back now-,’

‘ _Nick!’_ her voice croaked with muffled crying.

‘ _What_? What’s wrong? _Ellie_?’ his chest tightened with fear as his mind leapt to every worst-case scenario.

‘Oh my god, I’ve done something _awful_ and _stupid_ and and I-, can’t-,’ her words were lost between hysterical sobs.

He dropped his shopping basket and ran.


	4. Gonna find out who's naughty or nice!

[ ](https://imgur.com/F470sMY)

He took the steps two at a time and burst into the apartment to find Ellie frantically pacing, hands covering her distraught face.

‘B, what’s happened?’ he demanded intently as he strode across the room and crushed her to his chest without even thinking. Feeling her whole body shuddering in his arms he leaned back to assess her for damage, ‘are you ok? Is Matthew alright?’

‘Yeah, we’re both fine’, she whispered and just glancing up at him she erupted into sobbing tears again. He had never seen Bishop cry, getting teary-eyed, yes, but this was a whole other level.

‘Ok, you're going to have to tell me what’s going on before I freak the fuck out here!’ Sweat gathered between his shoulder blades and his stomach did somersaults as he waited for her talk.

‘Cordelia was here, and I did... I said something and now I _can’t_ take it back!’ she wheezed out, her chest hiccupping.

‘Ok, let’s sit down, chill, take a breath, start at the beginning, ok?’ escorting her gently to the couch.

‘But I’ve _ruined_ it all!’ she blurted, sniffling back another sob.

‘Breathe B, just breathe and tell me what happened, why was Cordelia here?’

‘She told me Christina’s grandmother has come forward, she was contacted for funeral arrangements. She lives in Baltimore’.

‘Baltimore… ok?’ he echoed gently, still wondering where this was going.

‘Well, I started to panic because I thought Cordelia was going to say she wanted Matthew and my head kinda short-circuited…’ she gulped, her skittish eyes wide.

He nodded understandingly, prompting her to continue.

‘Well, the grandmother is happy for the adoption to go ahead, but she has conditions …’

‘What, a religion or something?’

‘Cordelia said she is insisting that _only_ a married couple can adopt Matthew because they were all single moms in their family and she doesn’t want the baby to grow up with a mom struggling and …and _I_ said well that’s ok because _we’re_ engaged to be married’ she flicked her finger between them blinking back more tears, ‘and we were just keeping it secret because of work, and now I can’t take it back because I _lied_ on the CPS form I just signed, which is illegal and if I tell the truth now they’ll take Matthew…’

She was hyperventilating at this stage, so he knelt in front of her, grabbing her fidgeting hands and squeezing them to focus her on him.

‘So, what’s the problem?’ he asked evenly.

‘ _What’s the_ -? Nick! I just told the CPS we’re getting _married_ , that we’ll submit our certificate before the court date on the 24th!’

‘Okaaaay?’ he drawled placidly.

‘ _Ok_? _Hello_! Did you even _hear_ me? Have I lost my _mind_?’ she held her head and flung her fingers wide in a brain-bomb, her freaked voice climbing to a pitch where only dogs could hear her.

‘B, _cálmate_ cariño!’ shushing her in a soothing voice, ‘It’s no big deal’ he shrugged, ‘so we’ll get married and you’ll get the adoption through the court. Matthew is staying right here, where he belongs’, he squeezed her hands again emphasizing his absolute resolve on that front.

Her mouth opened and closed like a goldfish as she took what he said in and she thought it through.

‘That might work’ she gasped, ‘I mean, it’s only proof of marriage they need right? It’s only a piece of paper. Once the Court signs off and I have his new birth certificate, well, then the adoption is final, and we could just get divorced’

‘Sure, whatever’ he mumbled noncommittally.

‘But Nick, I can’t ask you to do that-,’

‘You didn’t ask, I volunteered! Look, big picture, we do whatever we need to do to keep Matthew, deal?’

‘You’d really do it, _marry_ me?’

‘Whatever it takes B. And it’ll be fun, like Charlie and Luis getting hitched’ he suggested lightheartedly.

‘Like we’re undercover?’ her head dropped to the side as Ellie weighed it up.

‘Sure, if we can pull off a working girl and her pimp, we can do this!’

‘We’ll have to tell Gibbs! I know it’s just a formality, but we’ll be legally married, that might affect the job’

‘Ok, we’ll go over to his place tonight, explain the situation. But first we better book a wedding’.

‘I’ll check City Hall’s website for dates, it’ll be tight this close to Christmas’ she speculated, grabbing her laptop and pushing her crazy, messy hair behind her ears to focus. She suddenly stopped what she was doing and stood up, tippytoeing up to him and pecking him on the cheek before wrapping her arms around his waist and giving him a quick hug.

‘Thank you, so much…you're amazing you know that, right? I can never repay you for this’.

‘Buy me a beer if we ever get out to a bar again, I’ll call it even’ he laughed with forced bravado. He bristled his hair at the nape of his neck with his fingers in awkwardness, his cheek still burning where she had kissed him, his heart hammering as he began to comprehend what he had impulsively agreed to.

Gibbs wasn’t alone in his basement when they got there, Jack was sitting on a stool watching him wax another panel on that boat of his while sipping JD by the look of it.

‘What’s going on?’ Gibbs asked stoically, his eyebrows raised when he saw the baby in the carrier.

‘Do you want me to go?’ Sloane asked standing up obviously tuned in to the nervous vibe emanating from them.

‘No’, Ellie said ‘it's ok, stay. But what we have to say-,’

‘Goes no further, got it’ she finished, sitting back down.

Ellie cleared her throat and waited til she had Gibbs’s full attention.

‘Boss, you know I want to adopt Matthew, well I-,’

‘We’ Nick corrected her quietly.

‘ _We_ were thrown a curve-ball today. His maternal great-grandma will only allow an adoption to proceed to a married couple, so as Nick has kindly -,’

‘You’ve got to be kidding me!’ Gibbs muttered dramatically, rolling his eyes heavenward.

‘We’re booked in City Hall for the 22nd. It’s just to satisfy the Court stipulation, just a marriage of convenience Boss, we’re not breaking Rule 12 or _in love_ or anything…’

Gibbs fixed his unwavering, steely gaze straight on him throughout Ellie’s explanation and he found himself sweating and swallowing hard under his boss’s scrutiny. The silver-haired guy gave him a knowing smirk and shook his head in incredulity.

 _Fuck_!

Jack watched the whole exchange, her head ping-ponging between him and Ellie and thought the time was right to step in.

‘If I may, do you two have _any_ idea what you're getting into?’ she asked seriously.

‘Jack, we’ve talked it through, honestly, it’s all just on paper-’

‘That’s called a ‘sham marriage’ Ellie, and it’s a federal offence, punishable with up to ten years for _both_ parties! The CPS will want to satisfy themselves that all conditions were met. They _will_ check veracity! It’s not a dog you're adopting Ellie, it’s a _child_ , a ward of the State.’

‘I know that, we both know that’ she muttered defensively.

‘Well, ok then, Torres- what colour is your _fiancé’s_ , toothbrush?’

‘Um, pink?’ he guessed. Bishop shook her head.

‘Green, always green’ she answered uneasily.

‘And I bet there’s a story about _why_ it’s always green’ Jack surmised astutely. ‘Bishop, what side of the bed does he sleep on?’

‘Ok ok, we get it, we’ll have to be prepared’ Ellie snapped, flustered that she had not considered any of these additional hurdles.

‘I know about the adoption process guys. The CPS could do spot checks to your apartment; are his clothes there, is his razor, his toiletries in the bathroom? There could be separate interviews for you both, where they corroborate your answers. How did he propose? Did you choose a ring together or did he surprise you? When did you realise you were in love with him? What birth control do you use? If you mess up it’ll be goodbye Matthew, hello prison.’

Ellie looked at him with a mixture of scarlet-faced embarrassment, horror and alarm. ‘What can we do?’ she squeaked out and he could see her eyes filling again.

‘You could call it off, let Matthew go’ Sloane suggested regretfully.

‘ _No!_ ’ they both exclaimed vehemently.

‘Well then, I suggest you guys move in together and _really_ get to know each other over the next two weeks. Talk, ask questions, about your childhoods, family, beliefs and aspirations. Be absolutely truthful with each other; you’ll get caught out on lies! Oh, and you’ll have to go public, telling the team will be good practice for telling your families. And proof, you know, social media photos of date nights, romantic stuff. You’ll need to practice touching, kissing too, until it’s second nature. It’ll _have_ to look real. _No one_ other than us four can know it’s all fake. Even the whisper of that and it’s game over’.

‘Nick?’ Ellie's calm voice was betrayed by the conflicting emotions battling it out on her face, desperation, vulnerability but a sliver of hope too.

‘Whatever it takes, Bishop. Just like being undercover, remember?’ he reassured her; assuming a deep cover alias was easy work for him, he’d had years of practice.

‘Yeah, only this time you’ll be the _real_ Nick Torres’ Sloane pointed out, reading him like a book and cutting his cavalier attitude down to size. ‘You’ll need to share about _you_ ; _your_ hurts, _your_ losses, _your_ dreams. You both will’.

In the silence that followed, they found each other’s eyes and he gave her his nod of agreement.

‘Boss? Are you ok with this?’ Ellie fretted, wringing her hands anxiously.

He saw Jack giving Gibbs a death-glare out of the corner of his eye.

 _Oh yeah, they are_ totally _together!_

‘You gotta do what you gotta do’, Gibbs shrugged submissively, picking up his oil-cloth again ‘as long as it doesn’t interfere with the job’ and that was the nearest they were going to get to a thumbs up to their plan.

He secured Matthew in the car seat and turned on the engine, waiting for Ellie to buckle up. She’d been quiet since they walked out of Gibbs basement.

‘Nick, you don’t have to do this, it’s way more complicated-,’

‘B stop, you want Matthew, right?’

She nodded nervously, wiping her eyes again. He reached over and took her hand, interlacing their fingers, his thumb caressing hers ‘whatever it takes, and it starts now, ok?’

‘Whatever it takes’ she agreed and breathed out slowly, steadying herself.

They held hands the whole way home.


	5. Mistletoe and wine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I rushed this chapter so please forgive any and all errors!

[ ](https://imgur.com/FCJnZ5P)

‘Condoms?’

‘ _What?_ ’ he choked on his mouthful of beer, the bubbles fizzing up his nose. Jesus, her random questions still startled him.

‘Birth control, do we use condoms or the pill? I can’t believe they’d get _that_ personal but Sloane-,’

‘I’ll go with whatever you say’ he interrupted, clearing his throat self-consciously.

‘Hmm, then I say the pill’ she answered scribbling the answer down in her notebook. ‘Condoms, useful yes, in the short term but in a serious relationship, having to stop when you're all… you know, in the moment and you just want to…’ the effect of her _illustrative_ facial expressions describing being _that_ turned on was tantamount to torture.

Yeah, this was his own personal hell.

‘You should probably know I get my period around the end of the month’ she muttered slipping that doozy into the conversation about a half-hour later, slap bang in the middle of a multitude of fairly innocuous ‘what’s your favourite' type questions.

‘I knew that already’ he answered placidly looking up from feeding Matthew.

‘You- um, how?’ she spluttered, her scarlet face dropping to consult her list again.

‘Your treats; you change to eating dark chocolate, that horrible bitter stuff for a few days then bam back to those weird salty-sweet combos you love’ he explained as he pulled the almost empty bottle from the sleeping infant’s mouth, smiling as it made a sucky pop sound and settled him on his shoulder to wind him.

‘That’s, um, very observant’ she gave him a pouty judging look and then started nibbling on her pen pensively.

‘Well, I _am_ an investigator, I have a badge and all!’ he teased, ‘plus, we’ve been partners now for what, three years? I wouldn’t be much of a detective if I hadn’t noticed stuff like that by now!’ he pointed out, trying his best to keep things light-hearted, but it was getting tougher to stay strictly business.

Ellie Bishop was meticulous, analytical and organised in the mission for them to ‘get to know each other’ before a potential CPS investigative visit. She’d tackled the task like she was swotting for a test, researching every aspect like it was a military op and tried her best to suppress her exasperation at his own ‘winging it’ attitude that was just as effective.

Fact was, he’d been hanging on her every word for months, so it wasn’t likely he’d forget anything she shared with him…but he wasn’t telling her that!

He felt tense and sweaty spilling his history to her; his lamentable family life, losing Sofia, stuff that happened uncover that had changed him irrevocably, things he’d kept hugged so close to himself for so many years. Telling Ellie had been like cracking open his ribs and showing her his heart. She listened compassionately, taking it all in without condemnation or criticism and he felt freer, unburdened somehow having shared it all with her.

He knew about the horrible bullying at school and her perfect homelife but over the past few days he was stunned to learn the reason for her divorce, and he’d observed she still winced uncomfortably talking about kicking her loser, cheating ex-husband to the curb. He learned the Qasim thing had gone _way_ deeper than he’d ever guessed but her reactions talking about _that_ seemed more tempered, more muted somehow. Ellie might be all sunshine and smiles on the surface but like himself, she had walled up pockets of hurt buried deep. He felt privileged that she trusted him enough to open up to him.

He now also knew her favourite colour, song, shampoo brand, and had seen the scar on her hip from falling off her brother’s skateboard when she was ten.

Yep, she’d stood there in the kitchen and just pulled down her waistband to show him, exposing half her butt and credit to him, he’d kept it together.

But Jesus she was killing him!

That first night after talking to Gibbs was a prelude to the agony he was going to have to suffer. Mooning over Ellie was one thing; actively faking being a couple, living with her, spending time, sharing intimate secrets with her was… _hard_.

That was the problem, it was ‘hard’ all the goddamn time!

As agreed in the car, being ‘together’ started immediately. He had enough in his go-bag for an overnight, they’d decided they were both too whacked to move his stuff that late. And it wasn’t like he hadn’t stayed over before…only now he was standing at ‘his’ newly designated side of her bed, looking at his gorgeous partner dressed in just a tank top and shorts PJs wondering how the fuck he was going to manage this without her noticing his burgeoning hard-on!

‘I can put on other…more- if this makes you uncomfortable?’ She was looking straight into his bugged-out eyes, picking up on his stress maybe, as he gritted his teeth in the effort of keeping his boy down until he could hide it better.

‘What? _No_ , of course not! Is this ok with you? Just the tee and boxers?’ He usually slept in the buff but that was so not happening!

‘Yeah’ she cleared her throat delicately, ‘I’m fine with that’ she replied getting into the bed, so he did the same.

‘I um, usually read for a bit, will that disturb you?’ she asked politely, a classic novel already in her hand.

‘B, we should just do what we usually do, normal couple remember?’

‘Right yeah, of course’. The awkward silence was deafening, even clearing his throat sounded embarrassingly loud.

‘Do you mind if we stop at mine in the morning before work, I have to grab something?’

‘No problem’ she closed her book, her index finger holding her place, ‘It’s going to be so weird lying to the guys, I don’t think they’ll believe us’

‘Then we’ll have to make them believe B, we stick to the plan’

She nodded her agreement with a sigh. He knew she felt guilty deceiving their friends, he did too, but needs must. ‘Goodnight Nick’ she chirped as he turned away from her and nuzzled into her-, ‘ _his_ ’ pillow. ‘Oh, just nudge me if I snore’ she suggested timidly.

‘You _snore_? You couldn’t have told me that _before_ I offered to marry you?’ he moaned in mock-horror and she laughed for the first time since Cordelia’s visit.

‘Goodnight B, and um, just elbow me if I um, roll too close to you, ok?’ Awake he could just about maintain his distance but asleep, fuck knows what he’d do sub-consciously.

‘No harm no foul’ she shrugged and then added ‘likewise?’ shyly, a blush heating her face.

 _‘No te preocupes_ , cariño, I know I’m irresistible and you're only human’ he replied airily and got a backhanded slap.

‘Dream on, Torres’ she snorted out a scoffing laugh.

‘Oh, I will’ he chortled, as he rolled over and left her to her reading, wondering how the hell he’d survive if she cuddled up to him during the night. The wedding was in two weeks, he could handle that long, right?

On the drive into work, he pulled up outside his building and dashed in, leaving both Ellie and Matthew in the car. Having not slept very well the night before, pent up anxiety that he would end up wrapped around her had him spending hours coming up with a plan that would satisfy both her notebook and himself…a little anyways.

Hauling himself back in the car he handed her a Christmas paper gift bag.

‘A bit early for presents?’

‘It’s not … just look in the bag and imagine it’s December 1st,’

‘Okaaaay?’ she answered bewildered and put her coffee cup in the holder.

She rooted about through the tissue paper and pulled out a red bauble, sucking in her breath as she read the words _‘Marry me?’_ he’d written on it a little untidily as he was rushing!

‘I borrowed your metallic pen and um, it’s not how I’d do it if I had more time, but I hope it’s ok?’

‘Oh my god!’ she whispered, pulling the diamond ring off the bauble ribbon.

‘I know you said we could just use a dress ring but look, I have this one already. It was my grandma’s and it’ll look more…authentic. We should have a ring before telling the guys…’

‘Nick!’

‘It’s ok if you don’t want to wear it, I know the setting is probably old-fashioned-,’

‘It’s beautiful’ she sighed as she slipped the ring on and dazzling him with a smile that bore a hole into his heart. ‘We should take some photos; this is perfect for background evidence! Maybe post them _after_ I talk to my parents though, that’s going to be a crazy enough conversation without pre-warning them!’ she muttered pulling her phone out of her pocket, but he stalled her with his hand on hers.

‘How about we take some at home after work, with the tree and all, it’ll be pretty’

‘Pretty?’

‘Well, I don’t want people to think I half-assed it, Ellie’ he explained stubbornly, ‘it may all be fake, but you deserve a special, romantic proposal and what would your mom, your family, think if I didn’t make an effort? So even if it’s just for a set-up photoshoot, it should be…nice, we’re meant to be believable, and second-rate shoddy isn’t my style’

‘You're right, I’m sorry I didn’t think how any of this would reflect on you’

‘How it reflects on _us_ B, we’re a team’

‘Ok, today we tell the guys and our families and later we post up some cute photos to say we got engaged on the down-low December 1st?’

He nodded in agreement, ‘Yeah, that’ll tie in with what you told Cordelia. You can take the ring off-,’

‘No way! I’m _so_ keeping it on!’ she dreamily moved her hand about so the diamonds caught the sunlight, illuminating the car in a sparkly rainbow of disco-ball flashes.

‘You are, huh?’ he grinned at her adamant outburst.

‘It’s _gorgeous_! You know, you might have to pry it off my finger when the time comes for me to give it back…’ she warned him.

‘We’ll see’ he muttered as she turned around and checked Matthew as he started grumbling a little.

_Yeah, I hear ya, buddy!_

They waited to make their announcement until just after 9, walking into the middle of the bullpen knowing everyone would be there for morning sit-rep, he holding on to her pinkie as her nerves threatened to overwhelm her since they dropped Matthew off to creche. He had to admit it didn’t go _exactly_ as either of them had expected. There were no shocked, surprised exclamations, instead, an obscene amount of money changed hands as agents, clerical staff and even the mail guy, cashed in a variety of outstanding bets passing bills over cubicle partitions all across their floor.

Then it was everyone’s opportunity to reveal how long they just _knew_ they were in love.

Awkward didn’t even remotely cover it!

He did his best to roll with it, mortified that he’d apparently been so obvious about his feelings.

Ellie's face burned.

‘Hell, I knew as soon as I got the job, all those puppy-dog eyes he was making at her and the blushing, there she goes again’ Kasie laughed clapping her hands in delight.

‘Ellie, he’s been hung up on you for so long now it’s ridiculous, but I knew my ‘zero chemistry’ thing would give you the kick in the butt you needed, right Nick?’

‘What’s that?’ Ellie asked, bewilderment overtaking embarrassment for a couple of seconds.

‘Nothing babe, just guy talk’, Nick blurted, giving a glowing Jimmy the cut-off sign.

‘I wish you’d waited until Christmas guys, I owe DiNozzo and Delilah a fortune!’ McGee grimaced. ‘though honestly, I couldn’t handle any more of that ‘idiots in love’ vibe, _every day_ in the office! The secret looks, the innuendo, the goofy smiles, ugh enough already!’ he rolled his eyes theatrically. ‘But I’m genuinely happy for you guys, I think you're perfect for each other and I’m really happy you're not wasting any more time. So, you need help with the wedding?’

‘We’re good thanks, we’ve decided to have just us and a couple of witnesses at City Hall on the 22nd,’ Ellie answered nervously, this was the crux of their illegalities.

‘22nd as in less than _two weeks’ time_ 22nd ?’ Kasie squealed in horror

‘Yeah’ they both answered in unison.

'What’s the rush?' she asked suspiciously, her eyes flicking to Ellie's abdomen.

'What? Oh _no_! we’re just… ready, why wait, like McGee just said'

‘Have you sorted a dress?’

‘Um, no-,’

‘Oh girl, we have shopping to do!’ Kasie linked Ellie by the elbow and frog-marched away.

Gibbs had been quiet during the announcement but standing up from his desk now, he handed Nick a pile of files.

‘Good luck’ he whispered smirking and he knew the boss meant in more ways than one.

That evening, once Matthew had settled, they got busy with the work of creating a romantic whirlwind social media story, of friends to fiancés. It started out fairly sedate; old photos from earlier in the year, cropped to look more ‘couply’, that part was easy, and they both had a surprising amount of snaps with just themselves together.

They should probably have gone a little easier on the white wine before starting the staged, festive photos, but they both needed to relax a little and the wine helped overcome their awkward embarrassment. The took pictures of decorating the tree with his proposal bauble, festive lounging on the sofa, making candy cane love hearts but they both knew they’d have to get some up close and _cosy_ ones to make it believable.

‘Mistletoe kiss?’ she suggested having thrashed out and rejected several other suitable yet intimate scenarios. ‘We can set the timer on the camera, and I know how to blur the image so the focus is on the foreground rather than on the -, well _us_ ’ she blushed, though _not_ as much as when she had suggested a snog session in the kitchen involving chocolate and whipped cream.

_Noted Bishop, duly noted!_

‘Sure, we can do that’ he answered as calmly as his still racing thoughts would allow. ‘Wardrobe change?’ They had been switching into different clothes and Ellie had fixed her hair into various styles to suggest the photos had been taken over time rather than just one night.

‘Nah, I think we’re good, these Christmas jumpers will look cute with the sparkly tree behind and the mistletoe branch hanging down’. She was standing tippytoe on the sofa attempting to tie the ribbon of the sprig to the chandelier when she wobbled.

Instinctively he grabbed her waist to steady her, but the sweater had risen up as she reached overhead and they both sucked in a breath as skin met skin. He was about to take his hand away but she leaned into him wobbling again.

‘I’m almost done, just hold me for one more minute…there! Perfect!’ she beamed down at him. Maybe it was the wine making her more playful but she suddenly lunged at him laughing as he caught her easily in his arms.

‘So we’re all set, I’ll just organise the timer and stuff then we can _do the deed’_ she giggled wiggling her eyebrows suggestively, taking another glug of her wine.

‘Huh?’ he coughed startled by her girlie carry on.

‘Mistletoe, kiss, snog, smooch, still with the programme there, Torres?’ she sing-songed in a ‘duh’ tone.

‘Yeah sure, ready set game on!’ he forced out casually past the golf-ball-sized lump suddenly constricting his throat.

The shit was about to get real now!

‘Ok so we have about ten seconds to get into position then we need to hold it for five. I’ve set the camera to take multiple shots, I’m sure one of them will do fine. Ready?’

Giving her the nod, she pressed the button and dashed into her designated place, chest to chest with him, so close their noses almost touched. He concentrated on mentally counting down the seconds wondering how in the hell she could be so calm when he was a knot of tension.

But then he saw a flicker of uncertainty cross her face, a nervousness that matched his own. He watched as she swallowed it down moving forward until her lips met his.

And then they were kissing, and time went out the window.

Somewhere way off he heard the shutter clicking, registered a flash blinking, but all he paid attention to was the fact he was making out with an equally enthusiastic Ellie. Her lips moved over his, warm and gentle and then open and inviting. Her soft hands reached around his neck, her thumb brushing the angle of his jaw as his own palms that had started respectfully on her hips skimmed up her ribs pulling her willing body closer to his own.

He wasn’t sure who came to their senses first but they both took a step back, totally stunned and abashed into confused silence as they both took in what had just happened.

‘I’ll um, check the camera’ she stammered, dropping her fidgety hands from his shoulders.

‘Um, yeah ok’ he replied sheepishly, clearing his throat and running his hand over his stubbled chin. He turned away, suddenly _very_ interested in the Christmas tree, rolling his eyes to the Almighty as he also recognised the uncomfortable fullness in his pants, _fuck!_

‘There’s a cute one where the flash caught the diamond of my ring, do you want to go with that one?’ she asked tentatively showing him the preview screen. He noticed her face had reddened, her cheeks with a familiar blush but her jaw was glowing with beard scuff. Her lips looked rosy and puffy too and he wondered did he have some of that glistening cinnamon-flavoured balm she was wearing on his own mouth after their activity.

‘I’m happy to go again if you want’ he joked, deflection seemingly his only defence as the tornado of emotions raced through his head. ‘Just say the word, Charlie!’

‘I think we’re good’ she laughed as he hammed it up, ‘for now…’ she added softly, and he definitely heard a hint of possibility in that.

They had stayed away from kissing photos since that first night, hand-holding shots were much easier to cope with, and besides, they were busy with the practicalities of working, caring for an infant and organising a wedding that, even though they had planned it to be absolutely low key, had somehow suddenly included ‘must-have’ stuff.

Ellie had been cajoled into going shopping for a dress with the girls even though she’d protested she had a perfectly acceptable outfit hanging in her closet since her cousin’s wedding a couple of years ago. Kasie would not hear of it and neither would Barbara Bishop who had been thrilled with their unexpected engagement. Ellie had tried to temper her family’s delight, but it had fallen on deaf ears. She had explained to them, repeatedly, that it would only be them and Gibbs and Sloane as witnesses, promising a visit with Matthew to Oklahoma in the new year when his adoption was finalised.

‘Close your eyes, Nick!’ she called from the door as she arrived back from a marathon shopping expedition.

‘Why, are you wearing the dress already?’ he laughed but did as he was told all the same.

‘No! But I promised Kasie that I’d keep up traditions so apparently, you’re not allowed even see the bag the gown comes in’

‘A _gown_ huh?’ he smirked, teasing her mischievously.

‘Off the sale rack, my compromise, though it was _so_ much fun to try on cathedral ballgowns’ she gushed as she headed into the bedroom to hang up her purchases.

‘I’m glad you had a good time, and I’ve already got my suit, so we’re all set. Do you want a hot chocolate?’ he asked, settling a sleeping Matthew in his bassinette and heading into the kitchen to put on the kettle.

Ellie sank onto the sofa, groaning in exhaustion, ‘Maybe not, we had a couple of Proseccos while we were playing dress-up, I blame Delilah! Tea?’

‘No problem’

‘Next time you’ll probably do the big traditional church wedding, huh?’ she ribbed, bending down to pull off her boots.

‘Next time?’

‘Yeah, whenever you do get married, for real I mean’

‘Um no, I won’t be doing the religious ceremony’ he replied carefully.

‘Why? I thought you’d want the whole big thing’

‘Well, divorcees can’t remarry in the Catholic Church’ he explained calmly.

‘Wait, _what?_ ’ her head snapped up doing a double-take as her brain caught up with what he was telling her. ‘But- but that means if you marry me now, you’ll _never_ have that?’

‘It’s not important’ he shrugged, continuing to organise their drinks.

‘Of course it is, Nick!’ she blurted aghast. ‘You should have told me! Your faith is important to you, your family traditions. I can’t let you give that all up for me-, I won’t let you-,’ she argued stubbornly.

‘Ellie, I’m doing this because I want to. You know I love the little guy and I love-, seeing you happy with him. I’m ok with the wedding, marrying you-,’

‘But it’s all a lie’.

‘ _No para m_ _í’_ he muttered resolutely under his breath.

‘What?’

‘I asked if you’d like milk in your tea?’ he spoke up a little louder covering his tracks, but his heart thudded in his chest as he chastised himself again for forgetting she was fluent in his native tongue. He stonewalled her later when she attempted to bring it up again but he reassured her he had thought it through and he was cool with it. He _didn't_ tell her that as _she_ was divorced a Catholic wedding was already off the cards anyway...and there was nobody else he could ever imagine marrying...

[ ](https://imgur.com/GkQoVqT)

The wedding was in two days, he hadn’t slept at his own place in almost a month and it was becoming harder to tell fact from fiction. They cohabited with an ease that was astonishing yet comfortable. They shared chores, cared for the baby, and became way more relaxed around each other in their downtime. It was intoxicating, addictive and everything he never knew he wanted, or maybe did but never thought he’d ever have.

Accidental awkward touches had become deliberate and lingering. They held hands just arriving and leaving work at first but now it was anytime they were out of the apartment, just in case they bumped into anyone she said. They maintained a strict no PDA policy in the office for Gibbs’s benefit, but they couldn’t hide their new natural easiness around each other.

And hugs, for photos and well, he had no idea why the hugs became more frequent. He wasn’t about to ask about that or why they both found ways to be always touching physically somehow. Nope, he wasn’t opening his mouth on that score!

Every evening they snuggled up on the sofa, their FB page full of snapped photos of tangled Christmas stocking legs while drinking ridiculous frothy festive beverages and she ‘forced’ him to watch holiday classics. And at night if they did roll together sometimes, nobody objected and there were no nudges or elbowing to make the other quit.

There was no more kissing other than pecks or a casual brush of lips, nothing like what had happened with the mistletoe and he took that as an indication of where they were at, still preparing for the CPS interview and learning to just be comfortable around each other to ensure they signed off on the adoption.

It was Sunday evening, the wedding was all set for Tuesday, so when a knock came to the door they were both surprised.

Ellie looked through the peephole and hissed at him, ‘ _Nick_ , it’s Cordelia! This must be it!’

‘We’re ready, Ellie, relax, breathe’ he reassured her, hoping he didn’t let her down in the pop-quiz.

She steadied herself with a calming breath, flashed him a tight, nervous smile and unlocked the door.

‘Hi Cordelia, come on in’ she welcomed the social worker cheerfully, offering her coffee and a seat. ‘It’s so nice to see you again. Matthew’s asleep in our bedroom at the moment but Nick, will you-?’

‘Ellie, there’s no need. I need to talk to you, and Nick too. I think you should both sit down’ she sighed, pulling off her gloves and squeezing her brown hands together ominously.

‘Ok?’ Ellie replied, wedging herself against his hip and twisting her fingers into a knot with his.

‘I’m _so_ sorry’ Cordelia started shaking her head sadly.


	6. In the bleak midwinter

[ ](https://imgur.com/cvA2J16)

‘But we can fight this right?’ he blurted out angrily, ‘She can’t just _change_ her mind. We can contest it, appeal or whatever?’

‘You can, and that’s why I’ve come tonight so that you can have your lawyer prepared to present your case.’ The social worker explained calmly. ‘But,’ she sighed, ‘in my experience, once a member of a child’s family comes forward and applies for custodial guardianship, the court usually grants it’

‘But she’s his _great_ grandmother! Surely, she must be too old to take on an infant, right? He’ll need someone for eighteen years at least!’ he argued rebelliously.

‘There is a cut off at sixty-five yes, but she _currently_ meets all the criteria and requirements. She has her paperwork in order, she is in good health, financially secure...’

‘But Matthew’s been with me, with us, since the day he was born’ Ellie fired back, finally snapping out of her shocked stupor. ‘This is his home! We’re his family! I’m his m-,’ she clamped her mouth shut, but they had all heard it.

‘Ellie, I know this is hard, but in the eyes of the law without an adoption order you are only an emergency foster carer, _until_ or unless a family placement can be decided’.

‘This is crazy! And cruel!’ he thundered, knowing erupting into a rage would not help their case. 

‘I know it seems unfair-,’

‘ _Unfair_!?’ he scorned incredulously, _is she for fucking real!_

‘I feel somewhat to blame for raising your hopes. What I _can_ say is, I will support your case tomorrow _over_ the family submission as being in the best interests of Matthew. The case is being heard at 4 pm, your lawyer will need to be there, it’s a closed hearing, to reduce potential emotional distress.’

‘What happens then?’

‘The successful applicant will have the adoption finalised on Friday 24th as scheduled’

‘And ...and if it’s not us? If she wins?’ Ellie whispered, clenching her hand harder onto his.

‘Let’s cross that bridge if we come to it’

‘I need to know, Cordelia’ she snapped, her eyes wild and fierce.

‘The child is handed over to the family guardian and their adoption proceeds without further CPS intervention’ she sighed despondently.

They stayed sitting side by side on the sofa in stunned silence after Cordelia discreetly excused herself and left. Ellie sat motionless, the only visible sign that she was processing it all was her fingers twitching as she picked at her nails until they were close to bleeding. He placed his own hand over them, but she jerked away, her eyes darting left and right frantically as she searched for her phone.

‘I, um, should call my attorney, tell him what’s going on and that he needs to…’

‘I could call Lucia’ he suggested handing her the mobile that had been on her lap the whole time. ‘I know she’s not a family law lawyer but she might be able to help?’

‘Yeah, good idea, call your sister’ she nodded as she scrolled through her contacts, ‘maybe she knows someone?’

They made their calls, Ellie was efficiently professional on hers, as he tried to keep the pleading tone from his voice while asking his sister for help.

‘It’ll be ok Ellie-,’

‘I better get his bath ready and that last load of washing needs to go in the drier’ she muttered evasively, determined to ignore the mammoth-sized elephant in the room.

‘I’ll take care of it’

She nodded mutely and went into the bedroom to lift Matthew.

He’d never felt more useless in his life.

They went to work together the next morning, by unspoken agreement not telling anyone about the hearing. There was teasing and joking about the last night of freedom, invitations for last chance drinks as singletons before their nuptials still booked for the next day. At lunchtime Gibbs took pity on them, probably sensing their frequent clock-watching and anxious vibe and sent them home. They tried to keep it normal once they got home but it was impossible. His stomach alternated between churning and tightening as they watched the minutes tick by.

When her phone did finally ring, they both jumped startled out of their internal silent reveries.

‘Ok, yes, I understand. Here, it would be better here. Bye Cordelia, see you then’ she muttered quietly and hung up on the call.

‘Ellie?’ he didn’t need to ask, her whole body screamed desolation.

‘The judge granted custody to his great-grandmother. Cordelia is going to come here tomorrow at noon to take him. I thought it would be better to do the handover here in the apartment, so he doesn’t get upset, you know, in a strange place-,’

‘Ellie-,’ he tried to say something appropriate, but nothing came to mind as he struggled to accept the reality of the situation. She stood up abruptly wringing her hands reflexively.

‘I’ll, um, I should pack up his things’ she nodded distractedly.

‘Ellie, stop, just take a minute ok?’

‘For what Nick, what will that do?’ she asked bleakly, her hazel eyes finding his own, her pain radiating like a lighthouse beacon for a brief second before she looked away.

‘Then talk to me, please’.

‘I…I can’t right now. We should keep to Matthew’s routine, babies can pick up on emotions, I don’t want him being upset or confused’.

‘Ok B, whatever you want’

Neither of them slept. Without saying anything they both just decided to put the Matthew in the bed between them, spending what time was left with him memorising his features, his new-baby scent. He took note of the freckle on his tiny left-hand pinkie knuckle, his long dark lashes that would make him handsome in the years to come and that any girl would kill for, the way he rolled himself up tight and then stretched when he yawned before snuggling in against his arm.

Somehow this tiny human had infiltrated his heart, his soul and even thinking about relinquishing him was worse than losing a limb.

He couldn’t imagine how Ellie was feeling and she wasn’t talking except to Matthew. Hushed cooing, hummed lullabies and soft words, her hands constantly caressing the baby that she had mothered since she had found him.

The morning inched by and they went through the motions. Ellie had packed Matthew’s clothes and had somehow found time to write up his daily schedule, and how he liked fleece blankets rather than the knitted ones, that he preferred his bottle just barely warmed and that his stuffed dolphin’s name was Flipsie and that his octopus hat was Ocho.

Promptly at midday, Cordelia knocked on the door, her face awash with resigned empathy for what she had to do.

‘Ellie, Nick’ she greeted them solemnly, ‘have you said your goodbyes, or do you need another couple of minutes?’

‘I’ve packed his things and um, I’ve written out this notebook with information for his grandma, to help her get him settled’ Ellie explained falteringly, handing the social worker the journal.

‘Thank you, Ellie, I'm sure she’ll appreciate that. She has everything, and I have a car-seat, so I won’t need that today’.

Cordelia’s eye fell on him, signalling he should maybe start with the handover. He unclipped the baby from the carrier and gave him a cuddle.

‘See you, little buddy. You have the best life, we love you very much, remember that ok?’ he kissed the infant’s cheek and handed him into Ellie’s waiting arms, unashamedly wiping the tears from his cheeks with the back of his hand.

‘I love you to the moon and back and I will _never_ stop loving you, baby boy. Be happy and healthy-,’ her voice hitched as Matthew curled his fingers around a lock of her hair, his eyes gazing up serenely at her familiar voice, her smiling face. Ellie held him in a tight cuddle and seconds slipped into minutes.

‘Ellie, it’s time’

‘I can’t… just a few more minutes-,’

‘It won’t get any easier, Ellie’ Cordelia told her compassionately. ‘I have to take him now’.

Ellie sniffed back a sob, nodding even as her chin wobbled as she tried to stifle her anguish.

Cordelia stepped forward and gently lifted the baby from Ellie’s arms. Matthew was not impressed and clung on to a tangled length of her hair, his displeased whimpering soon becoming all-out balling. Ellie stepped forward to console the baby, but he gently blocked her, taking her hand in his until he felt her body wilt against him in defeat.

‘I’ll be in touch’ Cordelia nodded at them and carried the crying baby out, pulling the little roller-case of his things behind her. They could still hear Matthew’s howls echoing down the hallway until the elevator doors closed on them.

And Ellie just fell apart.

With a sudden jerk, she ripped her hand away from his and stumbled into the bathroom. He rubbed her back as she retched again and again, heaving spasms bringing up nothing but water. She hadn’t eaten since the day before, maybe even longer than that he thought with a frown. He sat on the tiled floor beside her supporting her body over the toilet bowl until she crumpled into his arms shivering with shock.

Eventually, the shaking subsided but he thought her quietness was worse. She still hadn’t cried; it was like she was locked inside herself, lost in the mire of her own despair.

‘Ellie, you're going to get cold here, let’s get you to the sofa’

She nodded mutely, letting him lift her up and carry her to the couch, all the fight gone out of her.

She sat silently staring into space for hours, seemingly unaware of his presence, barely acknowledging him when he told her he was going to get some milk and other groceries. She needed to eat, soup maybe. His real purpose of leaving the apartment was to make the dreaded phone calls to their family and friends out of her hearing. She didn’t need to hear the congratulations and good wishes for their wedding which everyone believed was genuine to be dashed, to turn to commiserations and pity.

He’d handle it, even though he felt bereft himself, his insides scooped out until he was a hollow shell.

Gibbs listened to the whole lot without questions or interruptions, then told him he’d let everyone know.

‘Nick, if you need to talk …I know, how you feel about her’

‘I’m ok, I’m just worried about Bishop, I’ve never seen her like this, Boss’

‘He was your kid too’ Gibbs told him astutely, lending him his support in his own quiet, reserved way.

‘It’s not the same, but thanks’ he acknowledged with gratitude that the guy’s legendary stoic nature avoided further probing.

‘Take some time, both of you’.

‘I think Ellie could do with a visit from Jack, maybe she’ll talk to her. Can you ask her to call?’

‘Sure, whatever you need’

The next call to her mom was fairly horrific. He told them he would call as soon as he knew what was best to do; maybe Ellie needed time at home or maybe just for her mom to fly to DC. It was all too raw, and her family were just too caring, too worried for _his_ wellbeing, he choked up. Deflection did not work with Barbara Bishop, she heard his distress and did everything she could to support him across the miles, which only made him feel worse somehow.

When he got back, he expected to find her rolled-up asleep on the sofa. Instead, she had the Christmas tree stripped of decorations, baubles neatly packed back in their boxes, fairy lights wound up and ready to go back into storage.

‘Ellie?’

‘Thank you, Nick, for helping with the baby and going along with the marriage thing. I guess you can go home now. There’s no reason for you to stay anymore.’

‘I’m not leaving you like this!’

‘There’s nothing you, or anyone, can say or do to make me feel better’ she whispered vacantly.

‘I know, but I’m staying anyway’

She just shrugged her shoulders and continued gathering stuff up, though he heard her suck in a breath, her hand stalling, as she took down the new stocking she’d had embroidered with ‘Matthew’ only a few days ago.

He thought that would be the tipping point that would break down the wall she had built around herself, but she just soldiered on, folding the decorative sock up and putting in a crate.

‘You should probably give McGee back their baby equipment, I’ll go bag it up now’

‘Ellie stop, just sit. Let me make you something to eat, soup? An omelette?’

‘I’m not hungry’ she answered numbly though her ghastly pale face said differently.

‘Please Ellie’ he pleaded, gently tipping her on the elbow.

Without further argument, she silently sat down at the dining table, but she only shrugged noncommittally when he asked her preference again. He decided on soup and hoped for the best. After about only half the bowlful she got up and stood at the window looking out. It had just started to snow, just a little but enough that on any other day would have her dragging him out on the street to enjoy it.

‘Guess it will be a white Christmas after all’ he murmured over her shoulder. Wordlessly she reached over and pulled the blinds shut. Her loose shoulders trembled, her hands hanging low as she made no attempt to conceal or even wipe away her tears that slipped unacknowledged and unbidden down her cheeks. Aside from her reddened eyes she was so deflated and drawn about ready to collapse with exhaustion, the emotional turmoil taking its physical toll.

‘Ellie you need to sleep’ he urged her delicately, but she shook her head.

‘Just a lie down then, even for an hour, please’.

‘Ok’ she whispered hoarsely as she immediately turned on her heel and disappeared silently into the bedroom, closing the door behind her.

Sleep would help, it wouldn’t fix it- nothing would, she was right about that, but she was running on empty and everything was worse with overwrought fatigue on top.

He cleared off the table, washed up and sorted through the laundry, discreetly taking out the infant-sized socks he found in the mix and popping them in his pocket. It was only when he turned the gas off under the whistling kettle that he heard it. He tiptoed over to her bedroom door to be certain but there was no mistaking the sound of hushed, heart-breaking sobs emanating through the wood.

It was more than crying; it was the kind of desolate sobbing that comes from a person drained of all hope.

He was torn; every fibre of his being wanted to comfort her but that would make him feel better, _he_ needed to do something, anything. She needed the release and she needed privacy to do it, so he stepped away and let her cry it out hoping her muffled, keening wails eased before they broke his heart.

He endured the torture of listening to her unrelenting, distraught grief for almost an hour and there was no let-up, and at this point, he was wondering should he call Jack or maybe even Ducky for some sedation maybe. He reckoned he should try talking to her first, assess how bad it was before calling in reinforcements.

He tapped politely on the door but got no reply, though the sobbing ceased and that was a blessing in itself.

‘Ellie, I’ve made you some tea, can I come in?’

He didn’t hear a ‘no’, so he entered the darkened room, the light from the hallway illuminating the silhouette of her lying on the bed. He inched over to her putting the mug on her locker and tentatively sat down on the bed beside her. Her face was buried in her pillow, so he lifted it and settled her under his curled arm. Her hair was damp with tears, a tangled, dishevelled mess so he gently started combing it back into some semblance of order with his fingers. The motion seemed to calm her; the shuddering of her shoulders eased until only residual hiccups disturbed her. Leaning back on the pillows he kicked off his shoes, adjusting himself so that he could continue the stroking, adding a glancing brush of her shoulders to each stroke and she moved closer, her tear-soaked cheek buried into his shirt. Her skin was clammy with chilled sweat, so he pulled the duvet over them both hoping she’d fall asleep now that she had finally worn herself out.

They lay like that while he continued the gentle, rhythmic caresses until he almost soothed himself to sleep with her. Imperceptibly she snuggled closer, so he took advantage of her squirming to adjust his arm, almost dead with pins and needles. She settled against him again and he kissed her forehead now nearer to him since they had repositioned themselves. Exhausted, he closed his eyes welcoming the drowsy lull of her chest rising and falling against his own.

Her lips on his startled him into sudden wakefulness.

[ ](https://imgur.com/ClJwfLG)


	7. See amid the winter's snow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've kept it marked Teen, let me know if I should bump it up a level!  
> I know very little about American family law, so please suspend your disbelief and just go with the flow! I hope you enjoy the story x

[](https://imgur.com/wm2Y080)

Her lips on his startled him into sudden wakefulness.

‘ _Ellie?_ ’ he gasped, jolting back in disbelief as an explosion of feelings and thoughts made him pull away. He blinked in the darkness hoping she was still asleep, that the kiss was just a reflex reaction but the amber streetlighting reflected in her eyes, unflinchingly locked on his.

She leaned in closer and repeated her kiss, firmer this time, her hands scrunching up his top and pulling him to her.

‘No, B, not like this’ he murmured reluctantly against her lips, ‘you're upset-,’

‘Please, Nick’ she whispered before capturing his mouth again, this time letting her lips linger on his, her tongue furtively seeking admittance. ‘Please’ she echoed desperately as she looped her surprisingly strong arms around his neck and pulled him on top of her, her leg hooking over his leaving him in doubt what she wanted.

Growling with uncertainty, he willed his body not to respond as she leaned her abdomen against his rapidly swelling crotch but to no avail. Her kisses became deeper, more urgent, more insistent and his intense need for her, his own desire, betrayed his sensible brain and all its rational thinking, about how this was a terrible idea, that he should stop this now, step back, step away… before things between them were irrevocably fucked up.

She was wearing just a tee-shirt and he was blown away by the sensation as he reflexively ran his hand over her naked thigh even as he berated himself for allowing this to continue no matter how much she pleaded with him. He had to stop this, call a halt, regardless much he wanted this, no matter how long he had waited…

And then her deft hands were undoing the fly of his jeans, pushing the fabric of his boxers lower to release him.

In that split second before her touch, every nerve in his body and brain was electrified. Her fingers found what she craved and gripping him she moved to a rhythm than had him grinding his teeth in the effort to control himself...

‘ _Ellie-_ ’ he hissed, but she cut him off with her lips, her hands now tugging at her own cotton underwear to free herself of them. The anticipation, the temptation of being together overwhelmed his ability to stop her.

‘Are you sure, is this really what you want?’ he panted out in between their kisses.

‘Please Nick’ she implored, and the last vestiges of his self-control evaporated.

Every kiss had a raw intensity - breathing fast, heart rates faster. Before he knew how it happened, they were naked, their skin shifting softly, slipping smoothly over and together, like the finest of silk. He moved his hand lower, touching her, exploring her as their tongues entwined. He paused and kissed from her breasts to her stomach, his hands lightly tracking a trail ever lower and his mouth followed. He licked and nuzzled, tasted and teased, adding his fingers, watching her reaction, feeling how her legs moved, watching her body writhe in mounting pleasure.

When she came, she breathed his name, her fingers raking roughly through his hair and some deep part of him hoped that this would be enough for her, that his tongue, his hands, had given her the release she needed.

If she needed him like this well, he was willing and able, and _fuck_ , he wanted it too, he just hoped it wouldn’t do more harm than good, with her erratic emotions running high, her defences weakened. He was too close, too invested, it was a battle to resist the lure of wanting more.

He lost the war as she locked her thighs around him insistently, steering him home, her need for him not over yet. Every nerve ending thrilled and his mind buzzed that he was with Ellie. His heart swelled with the joy of it and air became a commodity in short supply. He wound his hands into her silky hair, curling soft locks around his fingers as he’d wanted to do since the first time he’d seen her. His heart was hammering, and there was a rushing sound in his ears, like the sound of the ocean crashing on the rocky shore.

His chest pressed against hers, and he revelled in the intoxicating vibrations as her breathing shifted from humming sighs to throaty moans timed to his every thrust. That heady concoction mixed with her taste on his tongue, the feel of her slick warmth surrounding him, the scent of their bodies as they melded together… it was intense and raw, passionate and tender. He wanted this moment to last forever, but he could feel the build-up of pressure, their innate need to reach the summit, rejoice and then tumble down the other side together still wrapped up in their arms.

He held her by the hip and strained up into her, rising off the bed and she pushed down to meet him, and in the last moment of coherent thought, he silently begged for forgiveness but was unable to halt the release. They held on to each other as they rocked through the last waves of their orgasms, her nails still raking down his back and she clawed at him to stay locked to her as he was until her rippling spasms eased.

He kissed her dewy forehead while scrunching his eyes shut, waiting for the recriminations, the push back of rejection when she came back to her senses and she regretted their actions.

‘Ellie, are you ok? I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have-,’

‘Nick’, she shushed him with her fingertips over his mouth, ‘thank you’ she said simply and rolled over to her side, taking his arm with her so that she was enclosed in his embrace. With her back snuggled into his chest, he could feel her breathing slow into the lull of restful sleep. Ellie's skin was luminous in the amber snow-dappled and speckled streetlight and he lightly kissed her shoulder, her skin still smelling of her vanilla soap and tasting of the salty tang of her sweat. He pulled the duvet up higher, worried that she’d get a chill.

He was both wracked with guilt and ecstatically elated at what they’d done, a mindboggling internal squabble of blame and bliss, replaying on repeat but exhaustion and the comfort of holding her close eventually pulled him into slumber.

He woke in the dim winter morning light, instinctively knowing by the muted hues that the snow was still falling. Ellie was soundly asleep curled up against his chest, her legs tangled in his. Her face still looked pale and drawn, dark shadows marred her under-eyes. She needed more sleep and something more substantial to eat than just a cup of soup for the past few days. He kissed her forehead, but she didn’t budge and reassured enough he extricated himself without disturbing her.

Sneaking into the living room he got dressed, donned his heavy jacket and jogging hat and headed out walking in the ankle-deep snow towards the corner bakery, guessing a warm chocolate danish and one of those gingerbread latte’s she loved might bring some colour back to her cheeks. The apartment was still quiet when he got back so he took a minute to grab a tray, fixing the pastry on a plate with a napkin and thought a little too long about adding a flower to his display. Out of habit, he tapped on the bedroom door balancing the tray one-handed but he got no reply not even a grunting snore, the kind that she produced every time her morning alarm went off and that never failed to make him smile.

He carefully pushed the door open expecting to find her still comatose but instead, the bed was empty.

‘Ellie?’ he called out into the small closet, but he could tell she wasn’t in there as the light was off. Laying down the tray he walked back to the kitchen checking the bathroom on the way. Nothing.

With anxiety mounting he searched around, discovering her phone on her locker, her keys still on the hook but her sneakers and coat were gone.

He dashed downstairs to check if she was in the building laundry room, but it was eerily quiet, no machines in use. Her car was still parked up, there were no footprints in the snow near it or his car.

He told himself that maybe she just needed some fresh air, and she loved snowy days, and she’d be back soon, rosy-cheeked and refreshed. Two hours passed and he called Gibbs, his voice tight with anxiety as he tried not to give in to his worst imaginings and fears. An NCIS full BOLO alert was initiated when she didn’t return or make contact another hour later.

By mid-afternoon Nick was frantic, Jack had come over to be on hand ‘just in case’ she said carefully, he didn’t want to think about that but her presence now meant _he_ could leave the apartment and search himself. He drove to every coffee shop, bookshop and bakery that he knew she frequented. He even tried her yoga gym and the art studio where she took classes. He looped around her jogging route, the traffic frustratingly slow and heavy with the snowy conditions and Christmas shoppers out in force.

As dusk descended, he headed back to the apartment ready to lodge a Missing Person’s report with Metro PD, castigating himself for his weakness at allowing what happened between them to happen. She’d been distraught, it was his job to protect her, care for her not take advantage of her weakness, her need for comfort.

He felt sick with worry and guilt.

He was back in the apartment less than ten minutes, pacing like a caged lion while Jack valiantly tried to calm him with inane, reassuring words of psycho-babble when there was a timid knock at the door. He took the room in two strides and flung the door open revealing a shivering, bedraggled-looking Ellie.

‘ _Santa Maria_ , thank god!’ he whispered, pulling her into a tight embrace before running his hands over her in a rapid inspection. She was freezing cold, her feet wet and her fingers swollen and mottled with chilblains. ‘Are you hurt? Where have been? Jesus Christ, you scared the shit out of me!’

‘Easy Nick’ Jack admonished, ‘just give her a minute’ she suggested evenly, and he took a slow shuddering breath as relief almost floored him.

‘You're home now, cariño’ he muttered to Ellie trying to moderate his anxious tone. ‘Let’s get you warmed up and into some dry clothes’ he said more gently.

‘I’m sorry, I went for a walk and I lost track of time. I’m sorry I worried you’ she sniffed past chattering teeth, the sudden change in temperature making her reddened nose drip.

‘It’s ok-, as long as you're ok, nothing else matters’ he told her as he chaffed her icy hands with his much warmer ones. ‘I’ll draw you a bath’.

‘Why don’t _I_ do that, Nick’ Jack interjected with a look that screamed she had an ulterior motive. ‘Maybe you could go get some take-out. Bishop, Vietnamese or Pakistani? I know you have a thing for that lamb and spinach dish from Desi Medina near the Marine barracks’

She was about to refuse but Jack gave her one of her customary firm looks and Ellie caved.

‘We’ll be fine Nick, girl time’ Sloane reassured him brightly handing him his car keys, ‘and a chat’ she added meaningfully. He took the hint and reluctantly left, his need to keep Ellie in his sights compulsive and more than a little irrational.

When he got back with the food Ellie was in fluffy pink pyjamas and matching woolly socks, her hair had been washed and blow-dried and she was sipping on a camomile tea. Jack had set the table for three and as they sat down Ellie’s eyes flicked to his still worried ones.

‘I’m ok, Nick, I’m…better’ she nodded hesitantly.

‘Ok,’ he replied cautiously, not willing to push her. He watched as she ate the small plateful she had dished up for herself and smiled, finally relaxing a little as she spooned up second helpings.

‘Ellie had an eventful day, Nick’, Jack started the ball rolling giving her an encouraging nod.

‘I walked for a while and ended up back where we found Matthew’ she faltered a little on saying his name. ‘I visited the graveyard and I sat in the church for a while. It was peaceful and pretty with all stained glass and the candles. I ended up having a long talk with the vicar, Sam, you remember her? It helped…and she, um, suggested I needed closure. Anyhow then I walked home thinking about…stuff’ she answered vaguely, her cheeks blooming a little.

‘But that’s easily ten miles B, in the snow!’ he spluttered doing the mental arithmetic.

‘Yeah, sorry’ her head dropping in guilty embarrassment,

‘You’ve nothing to apologise for’ he muttered spontaneously holding her hand under the table.

‘He’s right, Ellie’ Jack piped up, her eyebrow raised as her sharp eyes hadn’t missed his move. ‘ _I_ , on the other hand, _do_ have something to apologise for, to both of you. I took advantage of the circumstances and used an opportunity to create an environment that I hoped would lead to mutual feelings and a happy ending’.

‘Huh?’ They both asked in unison utterly bewildered.

‘The CPS _don’t_ do in-depth interviews to prove the validity of a marriage for adoptions, that’s ICE for immigration purposes. When you told Gibbs and me about the marriage of convenience, I remembered a movie from the ’80s, _Greencard_? No? well, let’s just say I thought you two could do with a nudge, a shove to move _things_ along’ she flicked a finger between him and Ellie suggestively and they simultaneously saw the light, their mouths dropping open in stunned disbelief. ‘It was unprofessional and in light of recent events callous and added more stress to an already stressful situation. I’m so sorry’ she added remorsefully.

Silence followed her admission as they both tried to process what she was saying.

In the awkward void, she prattled on still rationalising her devious scheme. ‘You’re still such good friends and I hope living together, actually talking to each other, wasn’t too horribly awful, and it’s not like you two got physical or anything so no harm no foul right?’

Unconsciously he glanced over at Ellie to be met by her equally sheepish eyes.

‘Oooooh,’ Sloane mouthed awkwardly, ‘ok then’ she blinked in wide-eyed, triumphant amusement. ‘Moving _swiftly_ on’, she blew out her cheeks, ‘I think Reverend Sam was right, you need closure, you _both_ do. I’ve made some calls and it’s ok for you both to attend the public court adoption hearing tomorrow-,’

‘Is that really a good idea, Jack?’ he jumped in, thinking it was way too soon for Ellie or himself to be around as Matthew was taken away from them again.

‘I think you both accept what has happened, it’s not like you’re going to kidnap him and drive to the first non-extradition country now is it?’ she muttered shrewdly, obviously guessing that they had both probably thought of that option. Ellie’s mouth dropped open and snapped shut again in a silent admission of guilt. ‘You can say goodbye, reassure yourselves that his great-grandma will care for him. No pressure, I can imagine you are both exhausted and overwrought, but I think it would be therapeutic’ she added kindly.

‘I’m, _we’re_ , still mad with you for what you did’ Ellie huffed ‘but will you come, tomorrow? I know it’s Christmas Eve but-,’

‘Of course, I will’ she nodded, squeezing Ellie’s hand across the table. ‘The hearing is at 11 am so I’ll see you both there’.

After she’d gone, he washed up the dishes, still mulling over Jack’s genius-level manipulation of their plan and found he couldn’t bring himself to be angry with her, he had enjoyed, _loved_ , every minute of his time with Ellie preparing for their pretend marriage.

But it was done now. The wedding didn’t happen because the reason, Matthew, had been taken away from them. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Ellie slinking off into the bedroom and he was sure she was avoiding being alone with him. She hadn’t mentioned anything about last night, her focus had been on recovering mentally from the anguish of losing Matthew and at this hour, when they would normally be bathing him, giving him his late feed and settling him in the bassinette hoping he’d make it til dawn before looking for another his absence was particularly poignant.

The apartment seemed dull and empty, bare of all festive fun and family warmth and _his_ presence wouldn’t fix that.

He finished in the kitchen, gathered up the towels and her still damp clothes and trainers for the laundry and then quietly organised his own stuff leaving his go-bag at the door.

Distance, he just needed some distance and he’d get over this infatuation, he lied to himself.

He tapped lightly on the door and saw she was already in bed with the lights off, but he sat down beside her and caressed her hair that tumbled loosely across her pillow, wondering if this the last time he’d be allowed to do it now that they’d revert back to being just friends and partners rather than fake fiancés…and one-time lovers.

‘Ellie, I’m going to go home, I-, last night, we don’t have to talk about it, ok? I’m sorry if I-,’

‘Nick?’ she interrupted him turning around quietly.

_God she’s so perfect and lovely and …distance, you need distance, Torres!_

He swallowed down his misery. ‘Yeah,’ he muttered dolefully.

‘Stay’

‘ _What?_ ’ he gasped, blinking in shock.

‘Stay’ she whispered pulling back the duvet to reveal her naked, beautiful body. When he didn’t move, too stunned to comprehend what she was offering, she reached up and pulled him down to her, and the rest of his unspoken words were lost against her mouth.

His veins throbbed as his pulse skyrocketed and something in his heart detonated. He’d never wanted anyone so desperately. He kissed her tenderly, restraining his desire but it wasn’t gentleness she wanted, not now, not this time, and she knotted her fists in his shirt, pulling him harder against her. A moan escaped him from somewhere low in his throat, and then his arms circled her, gathering her against him, and they rolled over on the bed, tangled together, still kissing.

This time he had more control over his actions and as things heated up, and he ached with the longing to be inside her he stalled.

‘Ellie, condom?’

She smiled as she kissed him, probably remembering their last awkward conversation about birth control.

‘Top drawer, under the bras’ she groaned in frustration as he moved off her to root in her locker until his fingers mercifully felt foil.

They didn’t talk the first or next time they made love that night. She needed a physical connection and he needed her, so he just went with it luxuriating in the real-life dream come true of being with Ellie. She seemed better, more like herself in the morning as she kissed his cheek and headed to the bathroom to shower. He heard her a little while later in the kitchen fixing coffee and toast.

Then he remembered, they would be seeing Matthew in a couple of hours and he was suddenly suspicious of her return to ‘normality’.

Both formally dressed, they arrived early at the courthouse and Ellie’s eyes darted about as she combed through each of the families gathered, some with balloons and placards ready to celebrate an adoption day. Jack arrived bringing Gibbs in tow, moral support maybe or a restraining influence if things deteriorated.

Then the elevator opened and Cordelia entered the lobby with an older, well-dressed lady pushing a stroller and he sensed Ellie baulk, her body suddenly rigid. He took her hand in his and laced their fingers together knowing that usually soothed her.

‘I’m ok’ she smiled, giving his hand a squeeze back.

Cordelia spotted them and approached.

‘Ellie, Nick, I’ve spoken to Glorietta, Matthew’s ‘GG’’ she smiled at the nickname that the woman had decided on ‘and she’s happy for you to say hello to him before the hearing’.

He could feel Ellie tremble with impatience to hold the baby as Cordelia brought him over, Glorietta standing back politely watching with a compassionate expression. As soon as he was in her arms Ellie was blinking back tears, peppering the infant’s face with delicate kisses, inhaling his scent like it was the most precious fragrance on the planet. He wrapped his arms around them both and the kid gurgled happily as they whispered endearments to him.

Too soon the bell rang announcing their case and he steeled his heart for a repeat of the harrowing scenes of the apartment only a couple of days ago. She surprised him, however, kissing Matthew gently and nodding to him to do the same. Then with a wistful sigh, she handed him back to Cordelia.

Walking over to his great-grandmother, Ellie pulled something out of her bag and gave it to her.

‘Ma’am, I, um printed copies of all the photos we took of him since his first day’ she explained handing the lady a small A5 album, ‘I thought he’d like it when he’s older. He wasn’t alone or abandoned,’ she grimaced at the word, ‘he was cared for and loved. He should know that’, she gulped, working hard to control her emotions.

‘Thank you’ the woman smiled tearfully and gave Ellie a tight hug.

‘I’m sure he’ll have a wonderful life with you, we just want him to be loved’ Ellie whispered before stepping back.

The bell rang again, and he took her hand escorting her into the first row of the public gallery with Jack and Gibbs sitting behind in the next. Glorietta sat upfront with her attorney flicking through the photo album, wiping away tears with a tissue, emotions probably affecting her as well. The formalities were read out, _Matthew Miller_ was a bit of a mouthful but that would be his name now. As the judge began her final comments Glorietta’s lawyer interrupted.

‘Your Honour, Ms Miller, asks permission to address the court’.

‘Proceed’

‘Your Honour, I’d like to thank the Court, the CPS, Cordelia Green here and especially the couple who cared for my great-grandson so well since he was born’ she began nervously glancing over in their direction.

‘I’m almost sixty-five, I reared my daughter alone and lost her to drugs and then my granddaughter Christina who also sadly passed before me. I'm now responsible for Matthew, he’s a beautiful boy and I want to assure everyone involved that he is my _only_ priority and I will always act in his best interests. With that in mind, I’d like to withdraw my application’.

Both his and Ellie's heads snapped up, her hand in a death grip on his.

‘Ms Miller, you are aware that the decision made in court today is irrevocable? That you will be relinquishing all rights to the child?’

‘Yes, Your Honour. I believe he would be happier being placed with the younger, loving foster family who already obviously adore him. I support their application, on the conditions already agreed.’

There followed an alphanumerical jumble of subsections and articles and legal jargon as he and Ellie just stared at each other almost afraid to blink in case they woke up.

‘Ellie, Nick! Do you agree?’ Cordelia hissed breaking them out of their trance.

‘To what?’ Ellie asked, but they both nodded anyway, dazed and perplexed as the judge droned on.

‘Ms Bishop, and Mr Torres I see you were married on Tuesday, congratulations-,’

‘Um, Your Honour, unfortunately, they had to postpone as the handover took place on 22nd,’ Cordelia explained apologetically.

‘Oh, well that complicates matters…’ the judge shook her head and muttered something to the court clerk.

‘How so, Your Honour?’ Cordelia persisted.

‘Well, the courts go into recess at 5 pm today for the Holidays and as this is actually _my_ last day on the bench, unfortunately, without a marriage certificate to meet the stipulations of the previous order, I will have to defer this ruling until the New Year when a new judge will be appointed’ she explained regretfully. ‘CPS will _reopen_ adoption applications in lieu of an order-,’ the judge intoned, gavel in hand.

‘But that would mean somebody else could adopt him!’ Ellie blurted loud enough to attract the attention of the bench.

‘That’s the law Ms Bishop _unless_ you and your fiancé can lodge a licensed certificate of marriage with my registrar in the Law Library within-’, she looked at her watch, ‘the next four hours. Do you realistically think you can do that?’

It took only a split second for them both to read the other’s face.

‘We do!’ they declared resolutely.

[ ](https://imgur.com/K4OzKVG)


	8. All I want for Christmas is you!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok guys, it's Christmas Eve!!! Here's the Oíche Nollaig (ee-ha Null-lig) instalment of the story.  
> Be warned, diabetic coma levels of sugary frosting ahead!  
> Completely self-indulgent!  
> Happy Christmas one and all!

‘City Hall is booked solid until after the New Year’ Ellie groaned after a marathon irritating call via several county civil servants. They both knew as much even before Ellie used every gun in her arsenal to try to wheedle last-minute slot that afternoon but no dice

‘What about a Naval Captain or Admiral or something, they can marry people aboard ships, can’t they? We know lots of them!’ he suggested wracking his brains to find a swift solution.

Cordelia shook her head, ‘yes they can marry couples and that would hold up in Court _but_ , just like if you had your friend Jimmy do it, you’d _still_ have to have the marriage registered with the County Clerk to get an actual paper certificate and they close for the holidays in-,' she looked at her watch and closed her eyes defeatedly, ‘five minutes ago’.

‘Fuck, there must be another alternative!’ he fumed in frustration

‘The only other people who can legally notarise a marriage are ordained clergy, a priest, or a Rabbi-,’

Ellie shook her head, ‘Catholic ceremony is out, I’m a divorcee and the banns haven’t been read, they’d do a blessing tops’. Nick did a double-take, _someone had done a little research!_ He knew it had played on her mind the whole him never having a big day in church…

_Light bulb!_

‘Wait, I have an idea, give me five minutes’ he squeezed Ellie’s clammy hand and rushed out to the lobby to make a call he hoped would miraculously save the day.

_Bingo!_

He sprinted back to the huddle of people and made a beeline for Ellie’s blonde head.

‘Ok, do you trust me?’ he panted breathlessly, his head doing somersaults plotting and planning what he needed to do next.

‘Yes, of course! Nick? what?’

‘Ok, I’ve got a plan, there’s some stuff I need to sort but I need you to go home now. Sloane, will you drive her? Go home and get dressed in your gown and I’ll call-,’

‘Nick-?’

‘No time to explain B, but I’ve got this, ok?’ he pecked her on the forehead and locked eyes with her until he got her nod of approval.

‘Ok’

He half-listened as he fired out a string of rapid texts, as Cordelia promised to meet them with Glorietta and Matthew at the Registrars at 5 pm, everything being in order, they would get Matthew then, if not he would be going to Baltimore with his great-grandma until the new court date.

That would _not_ be happening!

‘We’ll be there’ he vowed determinedly.

As soon as Ellie left with Sloane he turned to Gibbs, ‘Boss, I need favours lots of them, like right now.’

‘Whatever you need Nick, shoot!’

He would be paying back Gibbs for the rest of his life; a 911 all-hands-on-deck alert was sent, a few barking orders were issued and with the rest of the team enthusiastically on board a couple of chaotic crazy hours ensued but finally and on schedule, he was ready.

It had to be _perfect_ , and looking around his friends had exceeded all expectations. The old church, St. Matthew's, where it had all kicked off, looked spectacular. String lights glittered and sparkled as they festooned every pillar and archway. Scores of storm lanterns and tiny tealights illuminated the aisle, creating a glowing pathway from each pew up to the simple dark oak altar now decorated in cheery, red-berried holly, variegated ivy and more flickering gingerbread, clove and cinnamon scented candles.

He sat down on the pew-end and let Delilah pin on his floral button-hole, she had acted as ‘artistic director’, ordering her husband, Kasie, Jimmy and even Vance to obey her commands when it came to lighting placement and floral arrangements.

‘I hope this is ok, Nick? she fussed, brushing down his suit lapels with fidgety hands ‘I mean, I raided my Christmas dining table display for the fresh flowers and I think her bouquet looks pretty but-,’

‘Delilah,’ he interjected, ‘thank you’ and he kissed her on the cheek, still awestruck with wonder. ‘This, all of it, what you’ve done, the decorations, the candles… it’s beautiful. I’m sure you’d rather be home with the twins on Christmas Eve…’

‘Are you _kidding_? My mother has been feeding them candy canes since about 9 am, this is a very, _very_ welcome respite’ she sighed delightedly. ‘You look very handsome’, she smiled suddenly serious, ‘I am so happy for you two’.

Nick just hoped Ellie would be happy, with the church, the ceremony, with him…

McGee had all the IT set up and was going through the last sound checks. ‘How long? Will the snow delay them do you think?’

‘Gibbs sent the NCIS armoured 4x4 to collect her, the driver has _very_ strict instructions to get her here on time’ he smirked, turning to look at their boss quietly talking to Reverend Sam who was pointing out the late 18th century carved scroll-work on the roof beams and joists to the carpentry aficionado.

He nervously tugged his shirt sleeves again and checked the rings in his chest pocket for like the tenth time. They had bought plain dress rings for the City Hall ceremony that didn’t happen…he hoped she didn’t mind that he’d splurged a little upgrading them to platinum bands, ok splurged a lot but she was worth it, they were worth it.

‘Um Tim, could you do me one more thing?’

‘Sure Nick, we’re all set with everything here’, he motioned to the large projector screen, ‘I’m recording everything too’ he added clicking away at the laptop that would control the whole set-up ‘so what do you need?’

‘Will you, um’, he cleared his throat ‘would you be my Best Man?’

‘What? Seriously? I’d be honoured!’

‘Great good, so I know you're good with rings right, all Gollum and all, so could you _please_ , for the love of G- oops my bad,’ he said blessing himself, ‘of all that’s holy’ he corrected ‘take these rings from me? Stress, like _boom_ ’ he detonated a brain bomb sound effects and all.

‘Yeah, sure Nick, it’s just the rings that are stressing you out’ he smirked perceptively. The fact he didn’t even attempt to deny, deflect or dismiss his anxiety probably spoke volumes.

‘I know how you feel buddy, I remember it well’ he smiled affectionately at his wife who’d wheeled herself over to Ducky but seemed to intuitively feel her husband’s eyes on her as she turned back around and flashed him a blushing, bashful one back.

He hoped he and Ellie would get to that stage, but baby steps! He shook his head at the perverse thought that they were doing everything in complete reverse, being parents of a child, making love, marriage and maybe soon, he would even tell her how he really felt and maybe she would feel the same.

Today would be a really good day for that!

But either way, they were getting married in the next half-hour, they _had_ to if she had any chance of keeping Matthew and he’d move heaven and earth to make sure that happened.

‘They’re here!’ Kasie yelled, poking her head through the doors at the back leading from the entrance hall, her excited voice echoing around the almost empty church.

‘They’ve just pulled up outside, gotta go’ she blurted before disappearing to take more photos. She had been snapping candid shots all afternoon with one of the bulky cameras they usually used to photograph crime scenes and evidence.

They were still on schedule; he had discussed everything with Sam, and Ellie was right, she was lovely. She’d agreed to officiate their marriage without objection and being a Minister of a historic church, she could legally certify parish records of births, deaths and marriages. Ellie had told her ‘everything’ apparently the day before when she’d turned up at St. Matthew’s. Sam was both understandingly sympathetic and ruthlessly practical at the same time, grilling him about the sanctity and true meaning of marriage, his intentions … he’d answered all her needling questions and even in his thoroughly frazzled state, he’d obviously satisfied her and she was standing ready at the top of the aisle in her vestments ready to join this _shitting himself_ man, to the amazingly sweet gorgeous girl of his dreams ….

The back door slipped open and Kasie trotted up towards him.

‘Sorry, sorry!’ she grimaced, apologising to the vicar and the others who had all stood expecting the bride.

‘What’s up Kase?’ he hissed, ‘she didn’t turn up, did she?’

‘Of course, she did, idiot! And oh my gosh she is _stunnnning_! I told her you can’t see each other before the ceremony, but, she _insists_ she wants to talk to you. Now Torres! Chop, chop! Time is a ticking!’ she swished her hands at him, pushing him up the aisle and towards the hall.

‘What does she want-?’

‘I don’t know but whatever it is you guys are keeping to tradition,’ she declared resolutely, ‘so you stay _your_ side of the door and she stays on hers, got it?’

‘Yeah, sure’ he promised, his hands up in surrender at her stern glare.

He was dragged out to a side-room off the front lobby and Kasie manhandled him so that his back was to a heavy, dark-oak door.

‘Bishop he’s here, three minutes guys, tops’ she warned, tapping her finger on her wristwatch.

‘Ellie, are you ok?’

‘Yeah, I um-,’ he could hear the anxiety in her faltering, hoarse voice. She was close to tears. Fuck!

‘Breathe, here take my hand and just talk to me, ok?’

‘Oh my gosh, too cute!’ Kasie gushed snapping a photo as their hands touched around the edge of the door, before bobbing her head apology for intruding and excusing herself.

‘Talk to me Ellie, it’s just me and you’

‘Nick, I love that you’d do all this, again, for me, for Matthew, but it’s not fair on you, you're giving up too much, your traditions-, I mean, what if you meet someone and you both want to marry in your faith and you gave up that opportunity for a fake-‘

‘Ellie stop, I told you before I want to do this’

‘But it’s a lie, it’s not real!’ she sucked in her breath that sounded suspiciously like a muffled sob, and he knew now was the time.

‘Ellie, when we spoke about this before you said the same thing, only I _fudged_ my reply. I said then ‘ _no para mi’_. It’s not a lie or fake to me, none of this whole thing, the being a couple, the engagement, being with you, was _never_ not real to me. And I don’t ever want to meet someone else. I should have had the balls to tell you months ago but I’m telling you now, I love you. And I’m marrying you today because Matthew belongs with you, so even if you don’t feel the same about me-,’

‘Nick-’

‘What?’

‘ _Yo te amo tambi_ _én’_ she declared softly, entwining her fingers tighter on his own.

‘Really?’ he choked in startled disbelief; mind blown!

‘Yes, idiot! I love you, you are the kindest, most generous person I have ever met, everything you’ve done these past few weeks for me, for Matthew, just confirmed what I already knew in my heart.’

‘Time guys!’ Kasie popped her head back into the room.

‘So, I love you and you love me, huh?’ he teased, deflecting a little as he tried to get a grip on the sensation of bliss as his emotions soared.

‘Yup’ she popped.

‘Well, with that in mind… Eleanor Raye Bishop, would you do me the extreme honour of becoming my wife, like now?’

‘Of course, I will!’ she hiccupped, definitely crying now

‘I really want to kiss you right now’ he told her, his voice gravelly with sentiment and desire.

‘Well, I guess you’ll have to wait’ she hummed back, her tone teasing and hinting of naughtiness.

‘Hmmmm’ he growled, ‘I’m not a patient man, B!’

‘Time!’ barked an exasperated Kasie, well he had asked her to be in charge of scheduling!

‘Ok ok! See you upfront, I’ll be the guy in the suit with the dorky grin’ he grinned.

‘I’ll be the chick in the white dress’ she laughed back from her side of the door.

Closing his eyes to abide by Kasie’ rule he bent down and kissed the back of her hand.

‘ _Yo te amo tanto, cariño’_ he whispered before an irate Kasie shooed him back to his place at the altar and then whispering something to Gibbs who discreetly walked out to Ellie.

A hushed silence fell over the small crowd as McGee started the show, the music he’d picked for her entrance song was from one of her random ‘favourite’ albums, a classic oldie he hadn’t known before he lived with her but now just seemed perfect, he really hoped she approved. <https://youtu.be/Wsr3abK38zg>

Reverend Sam indicated for them to be upstanding and suddenly Tim was at his side and then the doors to the rear creaked open.[](https://imgur.com/W9DNWvQ)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter either later tonight or tomorrow, yes I know, Christmas day!!


	9. Unto us a child is given

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's late! Christmas craziness and Elf endeavours delayed me!  
> Hope you all like it, I think I have maple syrup for blood this time of year!!  
> Here's to a better new year, welcome 2021!!

[ ](https://imgur.com/iLOjhnD)

Turning around he gasped as the realisation hit him, this wasn’t just a dream anymore!

Ellie, linked on to Gibbs, was walking down the aisle towards him and he was sure his thundering heart skipped and stalled a little as he took in the stunning, loveliness of his bride. Her elegant dress was soft and flowy, subtle beading sparkled and glistened as it reflected the light of the multitude of candles and twinkling fairy lights. Her eyes locked on his and she glowed, shining brighter than the most glorious star, dazzlingly him as a shy blushing smile lit up her beautiful face

She was _radiant_ , no other word for it came to his over-awed mind and he knew he was the luckiest man alive.

She was about half-way up the aisle when she noticed the projector screen, lit up with multiple live stream Zoom chats with her parents, brothers and family from home, Tony and Ziva in Paris, Abbey in London, Alex Quinn from her mom’s house across town, and his own mom, sister Lucia and niece Amanda in Miami, all oohing and ahhing, dabbing teary eyes or waving enthusiastically in Abbey’s case.

He heard her breath hitch as she took in the faces and realised everyone important in their lives were here with them, and by the time she reached him her cheeks were damp with tears, which only increased as Gibbs gave her a fatherly hug and kiss and handed her a crisp, white cotton handkerchief from his inside pocket. Laughing nervously through happy sniffles, she let Gibbs pass her hand over to Nick’s waiting one.

‘This is-,’ and she welled up again fanning her hand under her eyes to stop her tears, ‘thank you’ she said simply and beamed at him while the vicar started the ceremony.

They were _really_ tied for time and he knew Sam should cut the service to include just the bare formalities, but he wanted to do _one_ part right. He needed to publicly declare his vows to her, in front of all their family and friends, no more hiding his feelings. He took both her hands in his own and said the words he’d been practising in his head, hoping he could get them all out without choking with emotion, his own eyes already prickling.

But then he looked at her and it was just them, just Ellie and Nick, he inhaled deeply and poured out his heart.

‘Ellie, I didn’t fall in love with you, I walked into love with you with my eyes open. I’d chose you in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds or any version of reality, I’d find you and I’d chose you. I promise to always be there for you. We are a team, you and me. I am on your side, to support you, encourage you, to protect you and our family,’ he pledged. ‘You are my best friend and I love you’.

There was a collective ‘aww’ from the people both in the chapel and on the live stream. But his eyes were for his bride, whose eyelashes glistened with unshed tears in the twinkling light.

‘Wow, how to follow _that_!’ she sniffed with a nervous giggle, before taking a breath and tightening her grip on his hands.

‘Nick, because of you I laugh, I smile, I dare to dream again. I love you because you are the funniest kindest, most generous, most passionate person I’ve ever met. You are my best friend; I trust you with my life. I promise to stand by you and with you no matter what, for the rest of our lives. You are and always will be the love of my life, my soulmate, my person. I look at you and I am home,’ she finished simply, reaching up and wiping away an errant tear that had escaped down his cheek.

Then McGee handed the rings over and he smirked just a little as she realised hers wasn’t the plain dress ring but a heavier, diamond-set band that fit perfectly with his grandmother’s engagement ring, the ring that Ellie _hadn’t_ taken off since he gave it to her. Her fingers trembled pushing his ring on and he felt the weight of it, the weight of their promises to each other and he felt utterly happy and weirdly _complete_.

‘Nick and Ellie, you came here today to affirm your love for one another and formally acknowledge what your hearts already knew,’ Reverend Sam intoned warmly, ‘that your lives are meant to be shared, that you are stronger together than you are apart and that for all your days yet to come you wish to share together all life’s joys and challenges, committed one to the other. It is my great pleasure to pronounce you husband and wife’.

‘Can I kiss her now?’ he asked the celebrant impatiently and got a nudge in ribs from Ellie and a chortle from the crowd.

‘Sure, go ahead!’ Sam surrendered as rolled her eyes indulgently.

The thunderous whoops of cheers and clapping disappeared into the background as their lips met, her arms snaked around his neck and his own, politely placed on her lower back instinctively pulled her closer. He attempted the chaste kind of public kiss, but Ellie had other ideas, adding a mischievous nibble to his bottom lip as they separated.

‘Oh you are so getting it later, Mrs Torres’, he whispered, as he kissed the back of her hand interlaced with his.

‘You promise, Mr Torres?’ she teased playfully with that cheeky smile that did all kinds of things to his southern quarters and he had to work _real_ hard on suppressing his reverberating growl to her hearing only. Kasie was still snapping photos as they hurriedly greeted family and their teammates before the vicar called them to the adjacent desk, a huge duplicate ledger opened and ready, they signed their names and Gibbs and McGee scrawled as witnesses. Adding her own signature, she carefully pressed the diecast stamp of the official parish seal onto the page before handing the precious document to him.

‘Ok, you're all set, good luck!’

‘We’re still on schedule, 55minutes to cross town, doable right? he muttered anxiously looking at his watch.

‘Cars outside, let’s _go_ people!’ Gibbs barked and waving at hasty goodbyes at the live stream, they dashed to the door. True to his word the boss had arranged a cavalcade escort of blue light NCIS vehicles, everything organised with military precision. As they were bundled into the back of the 4x4, Delilah at the top of the church steps called after them.

‘Go guys, good luck!’

‘Aren’t you coming?’ Ellie called back, as she saw the rest of their teammates' clamour into the other vehicles.

‘No, um, limited space with the chair and all, go shoo’

‘To hell with that!’ McGee railed and lifted his wife straight up and out of her chair, bumping Kasie into their car along with Sloane, to make space for her and her chair

‘You're not missing out!’ McGee declared determinedly and he kissed her with a gusto that was unexpected from the generally reserved guy, leading to more wolf-whistles.

 _‘Tim!!’_ she squealed in self-conscious delight. In an infectious display of impromptu affection, Sloane grabbed Gibbs and startled him with a proper kiss, as did Jimmy with his Breena and not to be left out Nick seized his new wife’s face between his palms and landed a full-mouthed smooch on her more than willing lips.

‘If you could _all_ quit making-out, we have somewhere to be!’ Kasie yelled in exasperation.

[ ](https://imgur.com/kLanz74)

Sheepish looks and giggles abounded as everyone seat-belted in and convoy took off.

Agitatedly, he watched the minutes tick by, Ellie's hand not held by his was tip-tapping her bouquet on her bouncing knee. The roads were busy, icy and snow-covered, so chaotic that even the blue lights and sirens were not getting them through the bumper-to-bumper lines of traffic all trying to get home for the holiday.

‘There’s a multicar RTA ahead’, the driver informed them receiving to a radio comm on his earpiece, ‘we’re stuck,’ he reported apologetically.

‘Fuck!’

‘Nick, we can cut through the park on foot-,’.

‘In your _dress_! You’ll freeze!’

‘I’ll be fine’ she shrugged impatiently, pointing to her light cardigan ‘let’s go!’

‘Here, take my boots’ Kasie offered eagerly and Ellie immediately kicked off her pretty heels and pulled on the slightly too-big snow-boots.

‘See, I’m good, go, go, go!’

‘We’ll meet you there!’ Kasie called after them as they bolted from the SUV and into the slushy street at a traffic jam standstill, running towards the gates of Senate Park.

[ ](https://imgur.com/gEuAXgy)

The meagre winter daylight was failing, and the pathways were treacherously slick as they sprinted hand in hand past the bleak, naked shrubberies of the rose gardens and still, empty frozen fountains. The snow was falling in delicate, floating feathery clumps and if it wasn’t for the panic of rushing to the Law Library he’d love to pull her to him and kiss her until they were both breathless, instead, they negotiated the slush and ice until they were at the exit gate they needed, crossing the road regardless of the honking horns and racing into the building, flashing his badge to the security guy who was starting to restrict entry as the 5 pm closing time approached.

Scanning her eyes down the lobby listings Ellie pointed ‘3rd floor!’ she panted out, directing a nod toward the lifts. He hammered on the button, but both elevators were busy way up on the upper floors according to the illuminated panel above the doors.

‘Stairs!’ they both blurted in unison and ran towards the fire door

They hammered up the stairs, strands of golden hair coming undone from her pretty braiding, her face flushed with the cold and the exertion as sweat gathered between his shoulder blades, probably soaking the back of his suit. They burst out on the corridor to be halted by another security guard, ‘Offices are closing for the day folks, please head back downstairs and exit the building. We will reopen on the 27th 9 am' he droned not even paying attention to their wardrobe choice or their objections.

‘NCIS Agents Torres and Bishop, we have to-,’

‘We are closing-,’ the guard droned implacably, corralling them towards the elevators.

‘Please-,’ Ellie tried politely before beefing it up with ‘Hey! we’re Federal Agents!’

‘And I’m Santa Claus’ he scoffed sarcastically but added, ‘-in about an hour, at home with _my_ family’ he levelled frankly. 

Ellie double-tapped on his wrist and he took the signalled hint, sliding her the marriage certificate while she pretended, he hoped, to wail inconsolably.

‘Come on man, it's Christmas’ he distracted the guard, pushing him back roughly, while Ellie dodged the guard's attempted grab and sprinted down the hall, a train of pale, pretty fabric flowing behind her.

‘Miss! _Miss_!’ the security guy called after her futility, as Nick blocked his pursuit with a rock -hard arm.

‘It’s _Mrs_ actually, she just married me like an hour ago!’ he beamed smugly at the exasperated guy who now doggedly escorted him towards the elevator. ‘And any minute now she’s going to have a baby!’ he crowed disregarding the guard’s completely confused expression.

‘Aw _hell_ no! Go, just go!’ he groaned, throwing up his hands in defeat releasing him, ‘I’m too old for mopping up after _that_!’

Nick tore down the corridor looking for Room 337, all the while counting down the minutes, praying she’d got into the Registrar on time. If she hadn’t…he could even begin to think about the devastating fallout of getting so close to having Matthew and losing him again.

Busting into the small, overwhelmingly beige reception room, he instantly heard voices, Ellie’s for sure, and others coming from a closed side office.

‘Did, um, my wife, Eleanor Bishop, er- _Torres_ -’ he stammered out, still in shock that it had actually happened, he was _married_ to Ellie! ‘-was she in time for the Registrar?’ he shakily asked the bored-looking clerk wearing a cheesy, flashing Christmas sweater and antlers behind a glass screen who hadn’t even looked up.

‘I’m sorry, due to data protection we can’t discuss appointments’ she said formally but as her eyes hovered over his evidently wedding attire, she nodding her head discretely, her hand clasping her chest in a silent ‘awww’.

‘If you’d like to take a seat you can wait,’ she whispered conspiratorially. He couldn’t sit, instead, he paced, lifting his eyes heavenward as he muttered beseeching traditional prayers, imploring for just _one_ more miracle that day.

Finally, the door creaked open and Cordelia stepped out as stoic faced, as usual, followed by Glorietta sniffling into a tissue.

‘Nick, she’s in the bathroom, you should go on in’, Cordelia sighed, putting a gentle hand on his arm as he passed her.

_Fuck, fuck, fuck!_

‘Ellie? _Ellie_!’ he called urgently, shouldering his way into the inner offices desperate to be with her, hold her, his heart cracking … _Fuck!_

‘Coming! Just getting sorted’ she called out in a muffled reply from behind the restroom door and then it swung open and she was backing out towards him, pulling a stroller, her face lit up with joy.

‘He needed a quick nappy change’ she smiled, leaning down and tucking the blanket around the bubbling and gurgling Matthew.

‘Is it done, is he-?’ he whispered, his voice crackling with tension.

‘Ours? Yeah, he’s _ours_ Nick, he’s really ours!’ she burst into spontaneous tears and fell into his arms.

‘Happy tears’ she bawled, hiccupping back her sobs as she fanned her face, and he wiped her wet cheeks with his thumbs before kissing her soundly, relief and happiness pulsing through him. They stood half-in half-out of the bathroom, just holding each other, crying with joy, relieved and elated in equal measure until the inner office lights abruptly blinked off.

‘Let’s go home’ he suggested curling his arm around her and kissing her temple both their hands on the stroller handle their thumbs brushing. Going down in the elevator Ellie leaned wearily into him and if _his_ nerves had been fried today, he couldn’t imagine how fraught her's had been.

In the empty lobby, they spotted two forlorn figures, Cordelia standing with her arm around Glorietta who was obviously upset.

‘Congratulations guys, you make a beautiful couple and family’ Cordelia commended them with a rare smile.

‘Mrs Miller, Glorietta, are you ok?’ Ellie asked softly.

‘Yes, of course, it’s just, you know, saying goodbye. He’s all the family I have and now I won’t see him-,’

‘Who said you _wouldn’t_ see him again, is that a rule? Ellie asked Cordelia, aghast at the notion.

‘No, it’s just the norm. Adoptive parents usually don’t involve birth families, especially in the case of an infant adoption’.

Ellie looked to him questioningly, inviting his opinion, but he just shrugged nodding his approval; if she was happy then he was happy.

‘Well, _this_ isn’t the norm, Glorietta you’re welcome to keep in touch and to visit. A boy can _never_ have enough grandmas to spoil him’.

‘Really? Are you sure? I don’t want to intrude...’ the older lady stuttered in anxious hope.

‘Not intruding at all!’ Ellie assured her. ‘You gave us the ultimate gift; we can never ever repay that debt!’

As the women swapped phone numbers and hugged with more happy tears flowing, he looked down at the kid and realised he had just become a dad, this little boy was his son and as awed as he was by that thought he was also more than a little terrified of the responsibility.

Lifting Matthew out of the pram he gave him a peck on the nose, ‘Go easy on me, kid, I didn’t exactly have the best role model for a dad, but I promise to love you and always do my best. All you have to do is be good, respect your mama and try your best at school, deal?’ The baby slapped his little hand on his chin so he took that as agreed.

‘You all set?’ Ellie asked suddenly at his side. He felt her hand slink in under his jacket and around his waist, her thumb rubbing that dimpled area of his lower back affectionately.

‘Um yeah, just having a man to man, you know’ he coughed clearing his throat, a little embarrassed at being caught sharing a personal moment with Matthew.

‘Mm-hum’ she smirked, her mouth puckering up as she tried to suppress a smile, taking the kid gently and getting him ready for the chilly outdoors. ‘Well, it’s Christmas Eve and I haven’t exactly been grocery shopping, Chinese?’ she asked, shouldering the baby, now all puffed up in a snowsuit.

‘Sounds great, and um, an _early_ night? We have to be in bed, I mean, we have Santa coming…’

‘Santa’s not the only one coming tonight’ she winked roguishly, flooring him with her naughtiness.

He was just about to answer back her salacious teasing, their eyes closed against the blast of icy air that hit them as they exited the building, but they met with a barrage of questions being fired at them by their whole waiting team.

‘Well? Tell us? Is it done?’

He let Ellie answer.

‘Matthew’s ours! Legally and permanently’ she squealed in delight and wrapping her arm around his waist pulling him into a kiss. Cheers and congratulations were accompanied by a rain of confetti and the whooping and wailing of sirens from the NCIS vehicles parked up on the front pathway. The blue and red flashing lights along with Kasie’s camera flashing like they were being paparazzied but it was all background noise. He only felt her lips, saw her face, felt her trembling body leaning in perilously close to him.

‘You're cold’ he complained anxiously, readying to take off his own jacket but Gibbs stepped forward with an NCIS windbreaker.

‘We um, took the liberty of organising a little _ad hoc_ reception, back at mine’ the boss muttered awkwardly.

‘It’s a potluck’ Sloane chirped in, ‘well, it’s more a Chinese and pizza buffet, with some Christmas Eve side dishes’, she explained expectantly, ‘we guessed you had nothing else organised on such short notice’

‘Sounds perfect!’ they both jumped in, Ellie's stomach rumbling at the mere mention of food.

Back at Gibb’s was chaotic and noisy as everyone laughed and talked, pulling up chairs, food and plates being passed around and Christmas tunes blasting out of McGee’s impromptu sound system. Standing there with a beer in hand, he watched Ellie twirl Victoria Palmer in a dance while Kasie let the McGee twins teach her Baby Shark by the looks of it. They’d already had some speeches, Gibbs’s few words had Ellie tearing up again, he felt he had dodged a bullet with Tim being the best man, he was heartfelt and polite rather than teasing and suggestive, kids present and all that. Both he and Ellie had thanked everyone for going above and beyond to help them. He had never been part of a team before, but he doubted any other would be so like family.

He had never been so happy.

The parents of the group were starting to pack up to bring the little ones home for Christmas Eve pre-Santa traditions but Ducky tapped on a glass to call everyone’s attention.

‘Eleanor and Nicholas, and Matthew of course’, he nodded his head formally to the stroller where said little boy was fast asleep in the midst of the mayhem. ‘There are a couple of traditions that _cannot_ be waived. First is a gift. Due to the short notice, we had limited options, but we think you will approve’. He handed Ellie an envelope.

‘Flights to Oklahoma! For tomorrow!’ she gushed, clutching the confirmation sheet to her chest in delight.

‘Yes well, we thought you’d appreciate spending your first Noel together with your son at home for Christmas morning before then heading home for Christmas night with your family.’

‘Return date is in _two_ weeks?’ Nick read it again, thinking it was an error. They had already used up all their annual days over the past month, that and then some! 

‘I pulled some strings; seems you are both entitled to adoptive leave’ Director Vance explained raising his glass.

‘And I believe your family may have organised a woodland retreat for some, well, _honeymoon_ time’ Ducky chuckled wiggling his eyebrows suggestively, ‘babysitting included’.

‘Guys, thank you all so much!’ he managed, his voice raspy with the effort of keeping his emotions in check. Ellie was already a sniffling write-off!

‘You are welcome, now before the little ones head home in anticipation of the imminent arrival of St. Nicholas, Papá Noel, Father Christmas, Santa Claus, the happy couple must have their first dance, Timothy, when you're ready!’

 _Shit_ , he hadn’t even thought of a first dance song, these kinds of things were probably _way_ important and did he need to waltz…?

Then Ellie had interlaced her fingers in his and with a cheeky kiss, she pulled him close and back to his senses, just as the tune blasted out.

He needn’t have worried, should have known the guys had a sense of humour!

‘ _I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus’_ ( _<https://youtu.be/lNlLRiBIarI> )_

‘Are you happy?’ he asked her softly as they slow-danced around Gibbs’s living room.

‘Very’

‘You?’

‘Ecstatically… but I have a confession that I _hope_ you-, well, it’s a lot!’

‘We’ve been married like four hours, B, what could you possibly have to confess?’

‘I know we had agreed on no gifts but…’ she rooted in the pocket of the cardigan she’d been wearing over her gown and pulled out a document.

‘Read it’ she prompted, thrusting it into his hands whilst chewing on her bottom lip nervously.

Bewildered he scanned his eyes over what was clearly Matthew’s adoption papers.

He spotted his own name along with hers.

‘When Cordelia asked us in court ‘did we agree’, and we kind of just nodded, well, it was to whether we agreed _jointly_ to be named as the adopted parents. Look at the bottom’ and he did a double-take when he saw it.

‘Matthew Nicholas Torres’, he choked welling up, emotions engulfing him.

When he didn’t speak for a couple of seconds, processing the enormity of it, he heard her nervously stammer out defensively ‘I hope you don’t mind, I was with the Registrar and he asked for the child’s new name and I-,’

‘B, I'm so honoured-,’ his voice broke and suddenly he was crying on her shoulder and she pulled him close and they circled about waltzing badly to the silly song, and right there he knew he was the luckiest man alive.

**Epilogue**

He would _definitely_ miss this cabin.

The Bishops, his new in-laws, had exceeded every expectation he’d had. They were welcoming and warm, loving and loud and he’d enjoyed arriving late Christmas Day and having the whole traditional festive celebration, to see Matthew being gushed over, to watch Ellie glow with happiness the centre of attention, a proud new mom, his amazingly sexy and sweet new wife. He knew her ex had never liked spending time at her home, especially not during the holidays, not being a fan of Christmas either. She had missed years of this, and even if he weren’t having a really cool time himself, he would have been contented just to see her so happy.

This is how he’d always imagined Christmas, just like in the movies, never thinking it happened like that in real life and now he was part of it. He wanted this joyful exuberance to be an _every-year_ tradition, he and Ellie and Matthew surrounded by the crazy commotion, children’s carols and cute customs, obligatory silly sweaters and all!

Tiredness caught up with them both for the first couple of days, stress only slowly dissipating even as sleep and naps were very actively encouraged so that Granny B could coddle her newest grandson. The huge daily intake of delicious food calories made him comfortably sluggish and he finally realized why Ellie, not alone in her family, had a big appetite; there was _no_ choice, Barbara simply kept offering until you caved in and ate! There seemed to be a constant stream of meal prepping, sampling, nibbles, snacks and treats and then full sit down carb-fests!

There was also a steadfast imperative need for he and Ellie to be virtually glued to each other; they couldn’t _not_ be touching it seemed, everything from fleeting brushes as they passed by to holding her in front of him, her back against his chest, his chin resting on her shoulder so he could pepper that sensitive area of her neck with kisses that promised more, later…

But although they were sleeping together in her old room with its big, squeaky-creaky double bed they didn’t… well, let’s just say hands travelled, explored and wandered but with her parents only next door and random, tiny people, nieces and nephews casually popping in to visit either Auntie El, Nunkle Nick or their new cousin, followed by an apologetic George, or a sister-in-law, well, their few days of glorious solitude in the luxury cabin stay the Bishops had arranged, with its wood-fired stove and outdoor hot-tub, floor to ceiling window overlooking a picture-postcard winter lakeside landscape with no interruptions and spending as long as they wanted in their super king-sized bed… were truly magnificent!

[ ](https://imgur.com/ZnVzJp7)

There were days filled with frosted sunshine and snowy cold, where they would walk together under the bare, white-rimmed branches of the woodlands, muffed in woolly hats and scarves against the glistening snowflakes and booted for the crunchy ice, with hands somehow warm even when the north wind blew because they were joined together mitten to glove. There were other days they woke up with no other plan but to stay in the warm, to observe the wintry weather from under a duvet, fingers wrapped snuggly around some cocoa... their bodies wrapped around each other.

Yeah, he’d miss that cabin!

It was their last day and they were reluctantly packing up their stuff. They’d be meeting the Bishops, Matthew with them, in the airport before their flight back to DC. As much as they’d loved their time together in splendid, languorous isolation, he could see Ellie was antsy to have Matthew back in her arms, he missed the little guy, his _son_ , too.

‘Nick, can you grab the trash bag and drop it to the collection point? I’ve just to gather up my toiletries from the bathroom and then we’re good to go’ she called out from the bedroom.

‘Sure, I’ll bring the empty champagne bottles to recycling too so I’ll be a few minutes’. They had spoiled themselves more than a little on this ‘mini-moon’ but he didn’t feel one bit guilty.

Chores done, he opened the car and started the engine, turning the heat up to max pre-emptively as the morning ice and snow had chilled the interior to sub-zero. Ellie hated being cold!

‘You got your bags, babe?’ He called out kicking the snow off his boots before he tracked it in all over the wooden floors.

‘Babe?’ he called again when he got no reply.

He walked into the bedroom to find Ellie staring down at her wash bag, the glow she’d had since their final cabin morning _moment_ evaporated and she suddenly looked an unhealthy pale.

‘Ellie, what’s wrong?’ he asked brushing his fingers across her forehead and cheek checking for a fever maybe.

‘I, um, I packed these when we left DC on Christmas Day, but I haven’t used them’ she stuttered out apprehensively.

‘Packed what?’ he asked mystified by her odd, kinda shellshocked behaviour.

She held the box of tampons out like it was a bomb.

‘Ok?’ he shrugged still at a loss.

‘Nick, I haven’t used them…as in, I'm _late_ , I’m never late!’ she sucked in a gulp, ‘I’m so sorry!’

‘ _Wait_ , what? What are you apologising for?’

‘We’ve been careful every time _except_ that first night, you know, when I...’ she squirmed a little as she eyeballed him sheepishly.

‘Oh yeah, _that_ was a good night!’ he nodded, smirking at her seductively, ‘almost as good as _last_ night in the hot tub’ he whispered nuzzling into her neck.

‘Nick, can you be serious for one minute!’ she gasped, elbowing him all scandalised but he knew she loved it really. ‘I _should_ have gone to the pharmacy for the ‘morning after’ pill but with everything, my head was all over the place and I didn’t and now…’ she shook the unopened box of products at him again to accentuate her point.

‘And now you’re late, like what, a couple of days?’ he said calmly, with travelling and everything so way off routine, she was probably just a bit out of whack.

‘Like almost ten’ she muttered shamefacedly ‘Oh my god, this _can’t_ be happening’ she covered her mouth with her hands her expression horrified.

And then it hit him, hard, like a kick in the balls.

‘You don’t want a baby…with me’ he stammered out dolefully, the disappointment of her rejection churning his stomach.

‘ _Of course_ , I do! I want that more than anything’ she gushed sincerely, soothing him instantly, ‘but Nick, in the past three weeks I’ve already been responsible for you becoming a dad and a husband, it’s _a lot_! Anything more could be the straw that breaks-,’ she fretted, obviously thinking he’d run a mile or something, blaming herself for being the one responsible for the notional added pressure on him.

All he could imagine was his picture-perfect family.

‘Irish twins’ he muttered dreamily, interrupting her hyper-anxious babble.

‘Huh?’

‘That’s what it’s called, having two kids within a year’ his smile was instantaneous and probably goofy as hell, already imaging the teasing they’d get about them being at it like rabbits and his super swimmers and…

‘Can you focus, please!’

‘Ellie, let’s just get a test-,’ he reasoned calmly already knowing what result he was hoping for.

‘What, and _then_ panic?’ her shaky voice escalated, no doubt doing the practical number-crunching of having two children. They’d need to move to a bigger apartment, no, a house in a good school district, with a decent back garden and a bigger car…

‘Do you think we’ll get a family discount on the flights?’ he mused already jumping ahead.

‘What flights?’ she asked, confused at the randomness of his question.

‘Flights to Oklahoma this December’ he clarified matter-of-factly, interlacing their fingers as he held her hand, ‘to go home for Christmas, with the kids…’

[ ](https://imgur.com/STtRgrp)


End file.
